Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML
Today, after finally breaking my addiction to sleeping pills, right as I was drifting off to sleep at my first decent drug-free time in over 4 years... I got the hiccups. FML
Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML
Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML
Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML
Today, I was giving a speech at a conference when halfway through I got a sudden case of hiccups. For the next 5 minutes I tried to finish my presentation while hiccuping uncontrollably. The audience found it hilarious and started cheering each time I hiccuped. I’m convinced no one could tell me what the speech was actually about. FML
Today, I got the hiccups at work no fewer than ten times in a row. I'm a cashier and not allowed to leave to go get water. Not only that, but I was called into the office to discuss my “drinking problem.” I don’t drink. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, as always, I get the hiccups ten times a day, sometimes more. They are very painful, and the only thing that makes them go away is water. The doctors have found no apparent cause. I hate my body. FML
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Top comments
lmz1986 10
I'm not sure if OP's username would actually help the situation, but whatever works.
HelloSirs 14
You are forgetting the first rule.
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Comments (68)
Quinn32 16
Then just drink some water...should fix it.
mpj13 8
Water you talking about? That never works.
Quinn32 16
Really? I'm not actually sure about this. It always works for me.
happle 21
I'm pretty sure water does work. Hiccups are caused by air bubbles trapped in your esophagus. Or at least that's what my brother told me.
laya_fml 26
I get terrible, painful hiccups all the time. Water never works for me. :( I'm jealous of you guys!
teamlightskin 14
Hiccups are caused by spasms of the diaphragm. Im not sure if it works for anyone else, but when i get them i just eat a spoonful of sugar! Takes it away and tastes good!! Water never works for me.
ICastillo 25
Ok this is what you need to do hop on your left foot ten times, then do ten spins counter clockwise, when you stop make sure you're facing south. Then hop on your right foot ten times, then do ten spins clockwise when you stop make sure you're facing east this time.( very important to stop in right direction). When you're done with all this do one front flip and one back flip, after this your hiccups should be gone. If hiccups do not stop repeat as many times as needed.
XxDevilxXGt 26
I take 3 deep breaths and hold it with all my might. After suppressing a couple, they usually stop.
sens3sfailing 25
Take 6 sips of water with no breath in between. Then take 7 sips with a deep breath between each one. If hiccups interrupt the process, start over. What always works for me. Just plain drinking water doesn't help
Stahrgeyzer 8
I always hold my breath and then swallow it. And the hiccups vanish.
DanielleinDC 34
♫Stand in the place where you live (now face north)...♫
Bluekaren16 19
Was it the type of hiccups that make you burp at the same time?
MelTheGreat 23
That's torturous. At least it wasn't diarrhea.
Caruci 7
Lol that's worse
HelloSirs 14
At least your family wasn't kidnapped, your dog didn't die, and that guy at work didn't eat your sandwich. But really, insomnia is never fun.
Psych101 9
9- I disagree. Have you seen Fight Club?
HelloSirs 14
You are forgetting the first rule.
Enslaved 38
Ummmm we don't know what you're talking about. ;)
dieselwrench4 4
you don't talk about it.... (first rule)
sens3sfailing 25
*punches 44 in the face, then disposes of the body*
TylerBurden 21
Who is talking about the fight club? *raises fist*
lmz1986 10
I'm not sure if OP's username would actually help the situation, but whatever works.
U_GotitDude 18
I don't recommend it, but whatever floats your boat...
Sir_ND_Pity 35
I can just imagine OP wrestling with her insomnia in good ol' fashion wrestling match, with the outfit and mat and referee and a cheering crowd in the back. Insomnia does a double carry and slams OP. OP counters and rolls Insomnia over for the pin. One, two-but then Hiccups comes out of nowhere and rattles OP! Down goes OP! She is then double pinned and loses the match! Moral of the story: both Insomnia and Hiccups suck. Sorry OP, maybe next time you will be the undisputed wrestling champion!
dashizam 10
NyQuil. Try it. Konk out in seconds!
SerpentBoy 8
Lack of sleep always blows.. When I'm tired at work Ill do some push ups, get the blood flowing...
HelloSirs 14
I just bench press my coworkers.
wlddog 14
That isn't impressive. You work with children. By the way, stop napping at work.
tomhofer 14
Eat a spoonful of sugar
MelTheGreat 23
and you'll get diabetes if you keep that up.
SerpentBoy 8
Haha yeah, you'll be the next Wilford Brimley..
oui230 4
actually a spoonfull of sugar works well in most people. it overloads the nerves in the abdomen and stops the hiccups.
Cbizzlez 10
Not to mention having to wait till you crash on it to fall asleep
PenguinBitch 44
8-.........and the medicine goes down.
Cbizzlez 10
Eat peanut butter upside down while someone scares you after drinking a gallon of water... Should work
japtap81 16
Don't drink coffee after 7? Take a hot bath it'll relax ur body and ull fall asleep. It works for me
Catkam623 27
I'm an Insomniac nothing works takes hours to fall asleep and you'll wake up 3 hours later
False_Stupidity 42
Yeah, probably fall asleep in the bathtub and then drown.
duckiegirl21 10
I don't think F-ing your throat would help OP ;)
HelloSirs 14
Super awkward, but I think someone beat you to it :(.