Today, I was told I looked “too timid.” I was feeling extremely confident having aced a test, but I didn’t look like it. I’ve practiced carrying myself more confidently for hours every single day in front of a mirror, to no avail. I guess body language just isn’t my thing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a colleague said I looked “different” and I thought it was a compliment. It turns out they meant that I looked “tired and stressed.” I smiled awkwardly and said, “Thanks?” while internally dying. FML
Today, I was psyching myself up in the office bathroom mirror before a big presentation. I was doing power poses and whispering, “You’re smart, you’re powerful, you’re unstoppable.” When I turned around, three coworkers were waiting silently for the stalls, watching my whole performance. FML
Today, I gave a big presentation at work. The manager decided to video tape it. I went through my presentation with ease and was confident I did a good job. My confidence was then lowered after watching the tape. Apparently, my boobs are much more interesting than what I had to say. FML
Today, I went to a job interview and, trying to sound confident, I shook the interviewer’s hand and said, "Nice to meet me." I didn’t get the job. FML
Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML
Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of, "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML
Today, my neighbor caught me practicing a “power pose” pep talk in my car before work. I froze mid-pose while he stared in confused silence. He gave me a thumbs-up, slowly backed away, and I drove off immediately. FML
Today, I was feeling unusually self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on makeup for the day. On my way to class, I passed some guys selling towels. One of them jeered, "Wanna be prettier? Buy a towel, and throw it over your face!" There goes my self-confidence. FML
Today, I gave a presentation. My teacher deducted points because I "need to learn how to speak more confidently, because you often stumble over your words." I have a stutter. FML
Today, I was practicing a presentation while walking around my apartment. I didn’t realize my neighbor was standing outside my door, listening. When I opened it, he said, “Strong opening, but you lost confidence halfway.” I didn’t ask for notes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
One time you don't want to appear confident is when you think you've aced a test. It's a Jedi mind trick! If you did ace the test, you psyched out your classmates. However, if you didn't do as well as you thought, you won't have appeared to be an arrogant phony.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (1)
RichardPencil 32
One time you don't want to appear confident is when you think you've aced a test. It's a Jedi mind trick! If you did ace the test, you psyched out your classmates. However, if you didn't do as well as you thought, you won't have appeared to be an arrogant phony.