Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML
Today, I emptied out a bottle of water onto my porch as I was going into my house. Only a couple of hours later, I decided to leave and slipped on what had turned into ice, bruised my tailbone and sprained my wrist. FML
Today, I tried to walk on the sidewalk. Actually, it was so slippery that I had to shimmy across it. Then I shimmied too quickly and fell down. Now everything hurts. Maybe next time I should bring a sled. FML
Today, I finally got to take the bus to the store on this icy cold day. I got there at 1 pm and found it closed. Their website said they'd open late at 10 am. Then, I missed a bus home and had to walk back in the ice and sludge. I slipped, fell on my ass, and my shoes and socks got soaked in dirty ice water. FML
Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML
Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML
Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML
Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle of the road, dislocating my left shoulder and knee. As I was screaming in pain and trying to stand up, two boys on the pavement threw snowballs at me while everyone in the cars just drove around me. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML
Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML
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Top comments
AlexBuda 0
The clinic was closed, but your anus wasn't.
rickydebacle 0
you should have worn a diaper.
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Comments (68)
VinceCarter 0
hahaha
tpreston 0
please don't think of me as a bad person but I literally rofl'd at this
TaylorTotsYumm 10
You're a terrible person. Shame on you.
mycookiezz 0
excuse me for this comment but "that sounds like a shitty situation" lol
PeteyPablo12308 20
That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard!
11colio11 4
I honestly cant think of any reason why anyone would say ydi for this one. That totally sucks for you op.
IronZombie 0
ydi.. go to a local pharmacy not a clinic.
Bano360 25
That happened to me too on the way home from college.
alwa7sh 2
YDI for being brave next time be a coward and stay on the toilet.
rickydebacle 0
you should have worn a diaper.
mygreenhoodie 0
too bad this is fake, girls don't shit
Not_Ever_Telling 3
Oh, that just sucks. :(
Twisted107 4
I bet it froze too
iLaurie 0
Wow. Gross.
sumerflame07 7
thats... shitty... bahaha.
HesJustTheBest 0
Sounds like you got yourself into a bit of a shitty situation...
thelastavailable 13
Is the proper term "shit", "shat" or "shitted"? Just wondering.
KrazieKleo 13
IMO it could be either shit or shat but shitted just doesn't sound as good:/. I don't know someone more knowledgable than me can chime in on this.
jiggyjiggz 0
shart
stlphil 0
I have to shit. I took a shit. I shit myself -or- I shat myself. I just shat five minutes ago. Sharted or shart is when you fart but end up with shit coming out. Makes me wonder about the origins of the name for William Shatner.
EmoKyd 0
Shat
ED35 7
Shat. No question.
RunAwayAndCry 3
Shit or shat. You can use both.
gLeek67 0
The grammatically correct term for the past tense of shit is shat
docscientist 10
Sounds like you should intestine the ground before you walk.
boatkicker 5
Aww what's with the thumbs down? It wasn't fantastic, but at least it was a little more creative than "what a shitty situation"
docscientist 10
Right? I know it's not great, but it was my response to the obligate, shitty situation, in every single post having to do with crap.
fthku 13
That stinks. (I just realised this when I finished typing, no pun intended) You shouldn't get anti-diarrhea medicine anyway, consider yourself lucky. You're keeping all the bad stuff that needs to come out. And you got to get rid of some of it without even having to go to the toilet! well done, you.
motero 0
mud butt