Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new wife and I got home from our honeymoon, and not an hour later she'd sat me down for a talk, saying, "Now that you're married you've got to act the part and give up this silly nonsense," then banned me from seeing my friends, playing video games, and basically everything else I ever enjoyed. FML
Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML
Today, I returned home from my honeymoon and met my dad for coffee. He told me he's been seeing someone and he's so happy. It's my new mother-in-law. They moved in together during my wedding weekend. FML
Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML
Today, my wife and I moved into our new place. I'm recovering from back surgery and out of work. To help make up the rent, her boyfriend moved in too. FML
Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML
Today, my new neighbor broke into our new house because his key didn't work. We just closed on the house this week and changed the locks when footprints were found in the bathtub after the cleaning crew went through. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML
Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML
Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
green_eyes124 0
wow! kind of seems like they should be responsible for buying you new gifts. I can't believe someone wouldn't make absolutely sure that the door to a place where people could've just seen you take a bunch of gifts was locked. it's like going christmas shopping at the mall, taking a handful of gifts to the car, and going back to shop more: the gifts will be gone when you get back. oh well... sorry op : (
LOLatU87 0
OMG kill your step parents!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (68)
LOLatU87 0
OMG kill your step parents!
LOLatU87 0
I meant parents in law.... y'all knew what I meant
NotYourOrdinary7 6
fail lol
NotYourOrdinary7 6
fail lol
BoyFromTheFuture 0
insurance?
Heazie 0
They aren't his step parents...
LOLatU87 0
nod "hangs head"
sixtimessix 0
so much fail happening here.
legonut4 0
now your playing with burglary
Jonkbaby 23
horrible horrible situation- but you gotta learn what's truly important here
starile 20
Yeah, your in laws suck ass and I hope they feel absolutely horrible for their stupidity.
oogyboogy 6
you live under my roof you live by my rules!!
Tweety122888 0
inlaws just **** everything up!!! they should mind their own damn business!!!!
l_2589 0
haha that sucks fyl
Matu 4
he was probably living in the projects
Arkzadere 0
Ouch, sorry bro.
B4SK3TB4IL 0
u still have each other, awwww
Sailor_Mars 6
that's a great start to your new life together
KBruce317 0
Oh man... that sucks :/
oakleyguy 0
uh-huh.....
BrookeBabe92 0
That really sucks, FYL.
Mauskau 36
I was about to say you were really pretty but then I saw the shitload of piercings and changed my mind. ew at the one on the bridge of your nose. ick. and lol op kill them
BrookeBabe92 0
Thank you...?
KBruce317 0
I still think your pretty!! :D
cali_cougar 0
me too :)
BrookeBabe92 0
Thank you, lol. (:
SweetNerd 0
You are authentically pretty. Your not 1 of those blond bomb shells. I like that type of hair on girls :)
aly21346 0
did you kill your parents? (i would) %^]
CACC_fml 0
wow at least youre together...lol jk who gives a shit about tht its all about the material!
machiko_fml 0
You probably have no relationship with anyone if you think it's all about the material.
CACC_fml 0
I was obviously being sarcastic. This is called a joke.
alfaboy 10
yes #24 if you're on fml you need to learn sarcasm. you're gonna see ot ALLOT.
unmadebed 0
Make them pay for at least half of everything stolen.
FFML_314 12
There's a great foundation for a happy marriage.