Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about our past relationships. He told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was smart and he suited someone who was quite stupid. He then went on to say that I was perfect for him. FML
Today, a guy was telling me how his girlfriend considers me a "perfect beauty." Not used to getting this sort of compliment every day, I felt extremely flattered… until he started explaining in great detail why he couldn't disagree with her more. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML
Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I think I'm average looking. He told me that it was OK, unless he wakes up tomorrow with some standards, I'm good enough. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me grief about my drinking. This would be fine, if he were sober. FML
Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML
Today, my own boyfriend admitted that he can't name one single thing he likes about me without naming something "physical." FML
Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML
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Top comments
danielwilliams57 6
Take that as a compliment, he thinks you're NEARLY perfect!
willyd1991 1
Do the dew!!!
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Comments (68)
willyd1991 1
Do the dew!!!
hannahkours 0
That would be Complicated.
hannahkours 0
That would be complicated.
biggestfan23 11
Well nobody on this earth is perfect anyways
curlywurly08 4
Dew gotta be kiddin' me!
danielwilliams57 6
Take that as a compliment, he thinks you're NEARLY perfect!
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Exactly! She is only 1 step away from being perfect! How many women have achieved that? And how hard is it to love Mountain Dew? Go for it OP, love the Dew and become the ultimate Perfect woman! :-)
a1f0sff 25
Supposedly, no one is perfect so look on the bright side, you've reached the highest level of almost perfection!
liscentious23 1
Perfection is in the eye of the beholder, a matter of relativity dependent on the boyfriend's definition of perfection
_ebbonyy 11
25- Buzz Killington
hqbrat 8
First of all Perfect doesn't exist only you can define perfect from your perspective, for example if I thing putting on matching outfits is perfect and somebody else thinks that to them putting on mixed match outfits is perfect to them. (AND I AM NOT SAYING THIS BECAUSE I DON'T AGREE, of course I agree and that's what every girl wants to hear, the fact that she is good enough to be with so her "perfect" guy
Ryan_Jaxson 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Get a bottle and ask him to shove it up his ass.
maosquare 18
If that happens, she will be nowhere near perfect.
patrickalamo 48
Looks like it's tine for you to just "do the dude"
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Today, you wrote an almost perfect comment. The only reason it's not completely perfect is because you don't like fixing your spellings. FYL
alshygirl 14
I think it was a bad attempt at a pun
Sandsh8rk 36
What do you expect? Mountain Dew is the shizz these days.
jojimugo 20
Ahhh to be young and in love ....
liscentious23 1
I can't believe one of your boyfriend's criteria off his "perfect girlfriend" checklist includes carbonated soda preference
taniamw 9
You could of just said mountain dew without getting all fancy...
Michael_92 20
Well we do live in a odd world.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
7 - I'm pretty sure that's why it's an FML
PrimeEvilTahir 24
'Perfection' includes everything... That's why OP said 'completely perfect'.
CorporalDunn 4
I can.
YakuzaxGeneralz 9
Go ahead. Don't believe it. Nobody's forcing you to. Besides, it sounds as if he was joking.
that_is_Nathy 9
or as if these two people in love are about 15?
emilyjgraham 34
why have you taken this so seriously? this is clearly meant to be a light hearted, funny fml.
Michael_92 20
Well coke is the best....just saying
randomnguy1993 5
Coca cola is the best
YakuzaxGeneralz 9
I love cocaine!! Oh wait...
Mister_Triangle 21
Not really seeing how this is a problem...
septemberpeaches 8
Well... mountain dew is pretty delicious :)