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By mrosewrosem - 13/02/2014 11:54 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, during an important exam, I had a huge panic attack and had to run out of the exam hall. Everyone saw me, and now everywhere I go, people keep pretending to have a panic attack and run away from me. I have to spend two more years with these assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 849

You deserved it 7 535

mrosewrosem tells us more.

mrosewrosem 12

Thursday 13 February 2014 20:25

Hey guys, this was actually me before I signed up for an account. Thanks for all the supportive messages, you guys rock! You're right, anxiety is a bitch! All those who said YDI, no-one deserves anxiety or any other mental disorder... just like no-one deserves any illness eg. cancer.

PROOF!

By Busted - 16/03/2010 18:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend since I believed him to be cheating on me with another woman, something he adamantly denied. I went to his house to get all my stuff back. After I left, I discovered a silk thong that definitely did not belong to me, in amongst my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 574

You deserved it 4 679

By annonymous - 28/02/2010 06:31 - France

Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 898

You deserved it 6 951

On the down low

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Montreal

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 142

You deserved it 8 169

Pretend

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 16:34 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 790

You deserved it 6 973

By ppp - 14/09/2011 04:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 230

You deserved it 3 427

By Anonymous - 10/10/2014 21:51 - United States - Lemont

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 735

You deserved it 24 354

The Katdashians

By obnum - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 502

You deserved it 9 388

By couch_potato - 28/03/2013 07:53

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 914

You deserved it 24 812

By workinggirl - 07/03/2010 17:38 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I met at a masquerade. The moment he saw me without my mask on, he left the date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 401

You deserved it 3 566

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 17:01 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 382

You deserved it 3 113

Weird party

By Username - 19/02/2011 07:57 - China

Today, while at a party, a cute topless woman sat next to me to flirt with the guy on the other end of the couch. This is the closest I've been to a pair of boobs in 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 476

You deserved it 6 933

By bootyislife - 03/02/2015 04:36 - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 300

You deserved it 4 995

By minibuch1505 - 21/09/2012 11:31 - France - Halluin

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 112

Keep them to yourself, buddy

By minder97 - 17/10/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 804

You deserved it 2 724

By willieboom - 30/05/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, I turned 30 years-old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 735

You deserved it 3 061

By acnecream - 03/05/2013 13:23 - Finland - Kinnulanlahti

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 313

You deserved it 73 872

By noooo!!! - 19/04/2012 18:45 - United States

Today, I made my brother go to the grocery store to get some frozen pizzas. Ten minutes after he left, the power cut out. Still no power. Still hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 488

You deserved it 3 984

By Anonymous - 18/04/2012 10:59 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 921

You deserved it 2 910

By Anonymous - 13/02/2010 07:22 - United States

Today, I switched cell phone carriers and got the plan where you can call or text any five people for free. The employee asked for my five, I could only come up with one, my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 067

You deserved it 5 095

By shithead - 18/09/2011 20:17 - United States

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 791

You deserved it 51 196

Nice try

By realitybites - 08/07/2013 17:03 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 178

You deserved it 7 341

By Closingwild - 21/07/2012 06:18 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 516

You deserved it 2 688

Quite the handful

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 038

You deserved it 3 890

By FuckYou - 02/07/2012 06:07 - United States - Santa Maria

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 653

You deserved it 54 090

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, while working at Wendy's my boss approached me and told me the District Manager wanted to talk to me. I had been given a substantial raise the day before so I thought he was going to promote me to manager. Wrong, he told me I was being fired for eating a 99 cent cheeseburger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 996

You deserved it 16 690

pokandy tells us more.

pokandy 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 16:52

Clear some things up. I had been working there for 4 1/2 years. Everyone at the store eats on the job and I was the only one to get fired. Never had any disiplinary problems before. The Store owners 14 year old son saw me eat the burger while working and told his dad who in turn told the DM. My regular manager didnt even know about it and was as blindsided as me. I offered to pay for the burger even double or triple for it but my DM could not see it any other way and canned my ass. O well. FML

Put it away!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring Grove

Today, an extremely hot police officer reprimanded me. It was pretty awkward considering she stopped me because of public urination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 986

You deserved it 35 070

By anal4me - 05/04/2012 20:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 866

You deserved it 3 837

By asleepinclass - 16/03/2009 17:18 - Poland

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 085

You deserved it 40 223

By nightjay - 11/07/2016 14:32 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I got grounded for having a boner when I woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 325

You deserved it 1 556

nightjay tells us more.

nightjay 21

Tuesday 12 July 2016 4:44

Hi, OP here! It was just a casual morning today, and since my mom usually waits for me to get up (because I'm usually pretty lazy out of bed), they wouldn't leave my bedside. Not wanting to embarrass myself in front of my extremely Catholic mom, I said no when she kept on telling me to get up. Finally, laying on my side (facing away from my mom) she boils over and pulls the covers off, and in my attempt to save my covers from falling on the floor, she sees my boner and immediately assumes I was masturbating. I don't know which was worse: getting grounded, getting the "masturbation is evil" talk, or having my mom see my dick. Triple FML. Thanks for the support! All the penis-puns make me smile :)