Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, my friend has been continuously played Skibidi Toilet on repeat and singing the song. She's 28. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML
Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML
Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML
Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML
Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML
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Top comments
FlaminYawn 0
My dick cost a late night fee, your dick got the HIV
cherlana32 0
I love that song!
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Comments (125)
Devikarawr 0
ouch. good luck with trying to get that out of her, if anything, dont keep on about it to her, she'll forget =] hopefully
average_girl 0
yeah. he should put another, more appropriate song in her head. lol. well i guess its too late now... haha
nam3 0
your dick looks like gary coleman
partialsun365 0
haha i taught the kids that i babysit "i like big butts" and i had that for a ringtone for a couple months last year. it went off while my parents were in the car with me. that was awkward.
gu355_wh0 0
Dude! i LOVE that song. its freakin hilarious! like this fml
juicyjay00 0
my dick, bigger than a jungle. your dick, got touched by your uncle
spoo 24
perhaps they should teach her not to grab things that aren't hers.... for instance "my dick"
RachelTheLoser 0
hahaha maaan I got an image xD
victoria4161993 0
hahaha I live that song
lizzilla8297 2
get another song into her head. shell keep singing that instead.
jebby011 0
74, no offense but it's,my dick, rumble on the jungle,
rcbarnes 24
Sound advice. Don't correct---distract!
cherlana32 0
I love that song!
nike1 0
Me too ;D
arsewipe92 0
me three. and i'm a girl. after seeing H&K 2, I couldn't stop singing it lol
izzie321 27
My dick, locked in a cage, right, yo dick, suffer from stage fright.
jessicax0 0
LOL. FYL.
my_fml_account 2
Awesome!
FlaminYawn 0
My dick cost a late night fee, your dick got the HIV
Jaywin 3
My dick play on the double feature screen. Yo dick went straight to DVD
lovetoday_fml 0
my dick is like an m16, your dick a broken vending machine. love it.
crumblemumble 0
my dick, bigger than a bridge; yo dick look like a little kids
Quen 1
My dick, large like the Chargers, The whole team, Your shit look like you're fourteen.
fatalkiss 0
my dick supersize, yo dick two fries
fatalkiss 0
no, my dick is like supersize, yo dick look like two fries messed it up the first time
Insane_Tea 15
My dick is a pussy invasion, your dick is small like an asians
cherlana32 0
Your dick, broken vending machine.
Einstein714 0
YDI for listening to that crap
TheFunnyzach 3
I have to agree. Even tho this comment will get thumbsed down.
CountDuk 5
that's funny as hell. tell her to please stop singing it, politely but sternly.
Ozmat 0
Ahahaha a girl is saying My Dick.
XTheDesertSongX 17
10th.. or atlesst I think.... you have a shemale cousin :D congrats ::D kthxbai