Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML
Today, I babysat the neighbors’ evil kids. They dropped them over at my house and I played with them for five hours. After taking the brats back home and putting them to bed, their mother asked me what time I came back to the house. She only paid me for the 20 minutes I was in their house. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally came back from the ASU game. I got paid $5. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, being a divorced dad, I had a very important job opportunity for which I would be gone overnight. When I returned, I found my son locked in his room while the babysitter was having sex with a man in my bed. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
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Top comments
mobius8 0
Wow, you were prepared to defend their kids with a knife? That's awesome. I'd hire you.
hidude12 0
awkward turtle...
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Comments (125)
hidude12 0
awkward turtle...
mariahrawks 0
turtle?
LittleMissOopsy 0
omg! thats wut i did! btw paid n laid rhyme!
peternorth 0
u should have walked in and made it a 3-sum.
Miss_Represented 0
Being a parent of two, sadly, sometimes you have to do that. it's good after a couple kids they still have it going on, better than it being a horrible relationship that effs up the kiddos!!
ZeroIce 12
lol :3
alliewillie 22
112 - I don't care how many kids you have, that's stupid. You want to go to a hotel? Fine. Vacation? Fine. Someone else's house? Fine. You don't lie to the babysitter (especially when she could walk in anytime on accident) and tell her you'll be gone, then screw 6 ft. away while she plays with your kids. That's awkward and unsettling to say the least, and unfair up her. I would have left op and not come back.
onz 0
can't see how that's a FML.
Cantabguy 0
You were paid to look after kids, what does it matter what they were doing in that time?
nom_nom_nom 0
*shudders*
Indiana_fml 4
Whoa, that was pretty dangerous for the parents. If I found two unexpected strangers roaming through a house full of kids I am supposed to protect, I would disable the first one immediately before facing up the other one. One shouldn't surprise people who are left in charge with such a task.
Macromartyr 3
Yeah, and the fact you had a knife, could have gone bad really fast
Brittanyy 0
At least you got paid? :]
ekim300 26
At least they got laid?
Eresbel 0
That sucks, but it is their house. It's hard to get time for yourself when you have kids and sometimes you don't want to watch them but you don't want to go out. I've babysat plenty of times while the parent was still at home, chilling. Never caught them having sex, but whatever.
camis 0
Uhm... so? (we really really need a "so what" button to rate the FMLs...)
bballwarrior 0
yes! we really do need one :)
Jasper_fml 0
i agree with 9.
mobius8 0
Wow, you were prepared to defend their kids with a knife? That's awesome. I'd hire you.