Today, I was having a cheat meal after two weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It had been baked into the cheese. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, feeling ravenous and hungover, I sneakily ate my roommate’s leftover pizza. Halfway through, I realized it wasn’t pizza, it was a frozen waffle with ketchup and cheese they’d left in the box as a trap. I fell for it. FML
Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML
Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
Today, I bought a slice of pizza at my favorite gas station. Upon opening the box, I found that the lone piece of pepperoni visible through the window on the box was in fact the only piece on the whole slice. FML
Today, I decided to make myself a nice meal. I bought expensive pasta and sauce etc. It looked delicious, I decided the finishing touch would be some parmesan cheese. I grabbed the bag and threw a handful of cheese on my meal. The cheese was about 98% mould. FML
Today, I found a New Year's surprise: a cockroach in my kitchen drawers. FML
Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML
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Top comments
purpleturtle16 20
The Universe is trying to make you stick to your goal! Please call the pizza place and ask for a refund.
llamarrama01 21
That must've really bugged you.
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Comments (125)
llamarrama01 21
That must've really bugged you.
royal_ranger 12
No pun intended?
JuliaaNoelle 26
I think the pun was very intended.
NeatNit 33
*sigh* you can't have an FML without some **** making a cheesy pun...
jojimugo 20
Damn 48 calmate
NeatNit 33
I just want to know, did I go overboard or did nobody get that?
euphoricness 28
I got it. Ur cheese! And the funny thing is ur comment is #69 and u mentioned ****!
royal_ranger 12
I knew it was intended people. Shit calm your ****. It was Sarcasm.
NeatNit 33
**** = cockroach, cheesy = cheese (which the cockroach was baked into) no flaming intended!
LittleBastard 20
Don't worry #101 I got your cheesy pun about his pun being cheesy.. So... much... cheese...
c_wyld 21
Extra protein.
redstone7693 29
imagine if it was still alive
muzy 23
#2 bear grylls, is that you?
riffehunter 16
did they charge you for the exta toppings?
lexiieeex3 32
I guess it wasn't meant to be...
purpleturtle16 20
The Universe is trying to make you stick to your goal! Please call the pizza place and ask for a refund.
KhaleesiDannie 26
and maybe suggest an exterminator haha
jazzy_123 20
my biggest question though, how in the world did they not see that damn cockroach?! were they blind folded when they packed it up in the box?
Sandman366 6
Something tells me it was a frozen pizza instead of from a pizzeria.
smokecloud_ 37
You bake your frozen pizzas in the box?
NeatNit 33
#47 if that were true, it wouldn't be in a box (at least not after already being baked)
ChristianH39 30
frozen pizzas (at least the ones I've seen) are already baked, you're really just thawing/heating them in the oven
TanzWolf 26
What kind of frozen pizzas are you eating?
mattmsk005 8
If it was baked into the Pizzia, then the bug came from the pizzeria.
BBeffedmylife 28
While I don't think that it is a frozen pizza in this case, I have known 2 different people who have found roaches in their frozen pizza.
5sonic 22
at least it gave you a reason not cheat on your diet...
Morning_fml 22
It also gives him a reason to file a complaint to that pizza company.
smackaroonial 20
Some diets let you have a cheat day every couple of months. A friend of mine eats so much garbage food on his cheat day. It's literally 5000 calories or more of junk food.
Migole 36
Cheat days are important for diets! Or your body will end up craving all the time. You just can't have too many of them of course ;)
Needafarm 22
OP needs to call the Health Department or it's equivalent. They might have more than just Roaches.
Bragi 12
76 - That's just feeding the addiction. Permanant weight loss requires changing your relationship with food.
Bragi 12
Consider it a warning and get back to your regimen.
KhaleesiDannie 26
A sign telling you not to cheat still I'd be calling the store or main hub if it's a chain place and tell them about that
Brandi_Faith 34
Definitely take pictures for proof and you should probably call the health department to go check out the restaurant. I'd be worried that if you just tell the company that they'd give you a refund and a free pizza and not actually do anything about the issue.
tinytyler 12
This should be your motivation to keep up the diet. The best of luck achieving your dream wight!
Vegetarian27 24
I don't think wights are ever in dreams other than nightmares...
thehartwants 4
I just started a diet on Monday and after reading this made me want to not cheat what so ever.
AnOriginalName 19
And what if you find a caterpillar on your tasty homemade salad?
muis545 21
indicates freshness xD
mete_orito 34
and also extra protein :-P
Arrow26 4
Its not like it wasn't cooked. What are you complaining about?