Today, I watched my boyfriend feed his cat and change his profile on both Myspace and Facebook before saying to me that he was, "too busy to have sex." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML
Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook to find that my boyfriend's relationship status had changed to being in a relationship with his ex. I asked him about it, and all he said was, "I guess I forgot to break up with you." FML
Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to find out that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML
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Top comments
girlpenguin 0
I never understood why girls could "not be in the mood for sex" but as soon as a guy doesn't want to do it, he's labeled as gay. Friggin sexist right there.
happycupcake 0
haha- i like that the op included the bf feeding his cat as though it's as frivolous an activity as updating myspace. i get that he was probably making excuses and that sucks but no matter how busy you are, you still have to feed your pets. fluffy shouldn't starve because you have errands to run. in addition to that, i feel i should point out that maybe he really was stressed/busy. that is not a good starting point for a fulfilling sex session, which takes a lot more time than updating a status, i would hope...
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Comments (125)
bARbi3_d0Ll 0
maybe he duznt like da sex wit u
marinus_fml 20
I think #1 is correct. op, you must suck in the bedroom.
pinkorchid88 0
either he's gay or you just suck in bed
vakandi27 0
it's probably because he's screwing a new "pussy".
BizzaroG 0
so many ungrateful boyfriends...
imbatman_fml 0
are we really going to allow these types of fmls? then open the floodgates to the millions of boyfriends and husbands who don't get enough sex too.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
All of those things take much less time than having sex. Good sex, anyway. Cut him some slack and plan something special to reward and relax him when he isn't so busy.
letmeinplease 0
^^ This. Also he did need to feed his cat if it was hungry. YDI for not making it appealing enough, guys like it when girls takethe initiative sometimes.
bARbi3_d0Ll 0
#20 is rite u cant force him to want to have sex wit u, jus cuz he's a man duznt mean he's always gonna b in da mood 4 it
kidsanchez1 4
reasons 1.is he gay 2.you suck at sex 3.he wants something new
widder 0
if you look closely, you can see that #1 has a penis!!!! holy SHIT!!!!! 8====D !!!!!!
bARbi3_d0Ll 0
lol wtf 39 no i dont
massagenist 0
either you smell somewhere or he mght be gay. alot of gays own cats.
Notjustanother1 0
if your local to SoCal hit me up I'm not too busy
DncrHap 9
10, grossss! kitty bestialityyyy. ick. it always sucks when the boy isn't in the mood. sorry, OP.
AnAngryGorrilla 0
well he has to feed his other pussy!!!
Vanessaxx 0
omg your muscles are hugeee! :D
izzy0122 0
He changed his status to not in a relationship!? or what? and u were at his house watching him do these things or are you just a stalker? whatever.:
ptellini 7
I know #1 and she definitely does not have a penis.
AdidasoverNike 0
#1=snookie
SeeSeaRider 0
i think its funny that #1 is tryna stick her butt out as if she actually has one lol
xHockeyStarx 0
Thats bich manl
xHockeyStarx 0
#2 i'd so f*** you. :D. that's not weird right?
iluvcucumbers 0
#1 HAS A PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
monicalynn 0
agreed, #14
IchbinSyn 0
Put some effort into it sexy clothes erotic games even put in a ****!!
kama1io 0
she sucks in bed
kama1io 0
i like an exprinced lady ;)
ARScratch 0
i like #1
julezbby 0
assfghjkl wooo:D
vvbrittxv 0
dude.. cover those **** of urs up.. they dont look to great no offense...
arixbaby 0
lmaooo!!!!
ANGiEk09 0
lol she's basically subjecting us to child **** cause only a desperate little girl would flaunt her **** on the internet like that. Skkkeeeezzeerr!!!!!!
brianna12 0
22-win
arixbaby 0
oh and a middle finger...how classy...
Bewitched_fml 0
I know seriously, cover 'em up and at least add an index finger up along with your middle one -.- ^ your pic looks so cool :D
arixbaby 0
why thank you :)
julezbby 0
lmao child ****.?(: I like your use of words my friend uhh yeah & I'm not even a child :p uhh boobs away now. hahaha cheese & rice people. kma<3 bwahahahaha anyone else joint the "I hate julez" club.? going once going twice.?
names091890 0
we all hate them, just accept it or get off fml
jenknee1989 0
82 -I love ur pic it's so cute :D I lovethat equation ^_^
monicalynn 0
aahahahah #22 weeeeaaaakkkk
ARScratch 0
it's been printed on a red shirt in a much nicer font for this past valentines day.
fat_bastard_607 0
fyl for having a boyfriend with a cat.
ANGiEk09 0
for real!! cats are lame... a real man would have a dog
KevinDidYourMom 0
Ftw!
Invierno 10
Agreed.
pertained 12
I don't get it...poorly written
pertained 12
well, I get it but FMLs are getting suckish nowadays..
Spooj 3
you could be horribly boring in bed. find and sleep with at least 5 other guys and give them all a survey afterward rating your performance.
finndizzle 0
genius
Bewitched_fml 0
XD that's not a bad idea
mariahrawks 0
i moderated alll four new fmls :). & I'm suprised he didn't throw up. I would've; I hate other peoples fingernails.
iamelrebel 0
wrong one
htownlove 0
#9 I think you commented on the wrong FML. This isn't the one about fingernails...that's the other one...
julezbby 0
lmao yup.
mariahrawks 0
eeeh, sorry. my itouch went bezerk on me. ;/
ImSoBaKed 0
Force-feed the cat a marshmellow or chocolate. When it dies or chokes to death you can have sex, there will be no cat in the way.
locomotion 0
And what about the Facebook and Myspace?
jamesSIII 0
Force feed the cat the comp. mouse. Problem solved!
bordercolliemom 0
do u think it's time 4 a new man?
Roseballs 2
there are other fish in the sea
ImSoBaKed 0
19, Im sure this FML had nothing to do with fish. Unless you are relating you're comment to the food that the Bf was feeding his cat. *Shame to anyone who doesn't get my sarcasm.*