Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML
Today, I accidentally touched someone's boobs. It was a man. And I noticed that they were bigger than mine. FML
Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I noticed that I've been gaining some weight. Don't worry, my boyfriend doesn't mind. His new favorite thing is putting my boobs on his head and saying he feels "safe". FML
Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML
Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML
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Top comments
GIRAFFES 0
That's not awkward at all.
Tubasaurus 0
Well, did he return the favor?
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Comments (125)
Uvula 0
First ahaha
humorizer 14
Ironically, if a man was doing this to a fat woman, we'd be hearing a lot of "OMG, SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!!! YOU PIG!!!"
ElliexMarie 0
LMAO . that hilariouss. (:
Uvula 0
That had nothing to do with my comment..
ilikepie789 0
y did u touch his man boob?
Macromartyr 3
Here's a comment to relate to yours. How about not being a comment nazi because NOBODY GIVES A **** IF THEY REPLY WHERE "THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO"
GIRAFFES 0
That's not awkward at all.
jimgrant1 0
lmao its not awkward she shouldve played it off as a joke
kautiepye 0
lls...funniest shit ever
Uvula 0
Giraffes no one cares if your first!
Xero3g 5
What the hell?
trini_gal171 0
^ exactly, what they wrote
Tubasaurus 0
Well, did he return the favor?
VroomVroomVroom 0
Haha. :]
a1mostevi1 0
lol and say "you started it"
lovelykendra5 0
lmao (: ^ Dude, Giraffes didn't even say shit about being first. STFU.
buckeye91011 0
4 is awesome And you should've asked him uf he wants your bra
dmmd8686 0
ultimate win...nicely done
Uvula 0
www.YouTube.com
Uvula 0
redtube.com
volleyballchicka_fml 0
pornsite :|
DeafChef 0
wow really, dumbass?
Uvula 0
Fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail bail vail frail mail pail tail rail eail quail sail gail jail nail bail vail vail KKK
Dabookofnothing 0
haha ur funny
xiaoxaio 5
immature
tpike1296 11
So glad that I wasn't on this site during your time.