Today, I barely drink and have never touched tobacco or drugs, but my body has become so accustomed to my prescription medications that missing even one dose will cause withdrawal-induced chills and vomiting. I take them for a chronic illness, and can't switch to anything else. FML
The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs
MommyMerida tells us more.
OP here, I had posted a lengthy explanation but while one of my comments appeared, that did not. Not sure why... I have a severe form of bipolar disorder. After I was diagnosed, I spent several years in and out of the hospital as my doctor tried me on almost every type of mood stabilizer and antipsychotic in existence. During that time, I was pretty much unable to function. After a long trial-and-error period, we found the medications I'm on now. I've been taking them for several years now and since then, I've been able to go back to school, succeed at my degree, get a job in my field, get married, start a family (after seeing the right specialists and taking all the necessary precautions) and lead a normal life. Considering how long it took to find the right combination and dosages of medication, my psychiatrist and I are both scared switching would upset that balance. Confirming our fear is the fact that every time we've tried to lower the dosage even slightly, I've started getting symptoms and we've had to bring th dosage back up. As to why I would miss a dose, it happens very rarely, but on occasion I've had to skip one because I needed to be 100% awake and present for something and knew I couldn't achieve that with the side effects of my medication. That being said, the half-life is long enough that skipping one dose, once in a while doesn't have a noticeable effect. I'm also very careful about not doing that if I feel fragile, because having dealt with my illness for over a decade now, I know my limits and want to make sure things never go back to the way they were before I was stable. I'm very grateful for having been able to find the right treatment and would never do anything to jeopardize it, like going off my medication without a doctor telling me to. I have no illusions about what's made me stable. It is a little scary, though, thinking that my body needs the medication that much...
Today, my husband picked a fight with me because I have more pictures of our child on my desk at work than I do of him. FML
Today, I went to the park and people were crowded around some dancers. One of the dancers danced up to me, gave me a flower, and winked at me. I was very flattered, until the same dancer asked me to give the flower back after the dance so he could use it on the next show. FML
Today, my husband and I had a HUGE fight, but we had amazing make up sex so I figured it was over. When I woke up, I realized my mistake. I was tied to the four bed posts completely naked and a sign was taped on the ceiling. "Repairman coming in an hour. Gave him a key. Have all your clothes. Have fun." FML
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Today, my husband kindly offered to take me on a brewery tour. Turned out the brewery is owned by his ex-girlfriend and there was no tour after all. Just me standing awkwardly for 25 minutes while he chatted to her about her family and stuff they used to do together. FML
Got likes on the mind
Today, while at a family gathering, my teenage sister-in-law felt the need to loudly point out, several times, that her selfie got more 'likes' than my pregnancy announcement. FML
Singalong
Today, I was at a concert and I was having so much fun. Unfortunately, this was cut short when the person behind me with the worst halitosis started singing along to the songs. He knew ALL the lyrics. FML
Today, working night shift at a nursing home, I can tell the difference between the smell of different people's urine. FML
Today, a woman at the crowded mall stopped me and told me loudly that if I bought her product it would get rid of my acne. FML
Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML
Today, I found out that when my boss said she was considering bumping me up to full time, she actually meant she was planning on letting me go. Everyone in the office except me knew. FML
Today, the alarm clock downstairs has been going off since 3am. The apartment belongs to two other students. They've gone home. Only 3 more days left to go. FML
Today, after 3 years of hard work, very little vacation and no raises, our boss got us a crappy box of drug store cookies as an employee appreciation gift. Which he ended up eating. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to ask out a girl I've had a crush on for months now. She told me I was very cute and then walked off. I still don't have an answer. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and the family dog was unable to move, so I had texted the mother about it. We put the small dog on the couch to make it comfortable while the mother was on her way to get the dog and take it to the vet. Turns out, we sat with a dead dog for about ten minutes. FML
Today, I just got my windshield fixed due to a rock hitting it off the highway. Just one hour later on my way home, a large stick flew off the back of a landscaping truck. My windshield is cracked again. FML.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message while we were having sex. FML
Today, I took a drug test for probation and failed a category called "tricyclic antidepressants". The tablet of Benadryl I took last night for sleep assistance caused me to violate my probation. FML
Bad sign
Today, I realized it's been 5 days since my boyfriend last answered the phone when I called. Two weeks ago, he told me he used to break up with his girlfriends in a very juvenile way. He doesn't answer their phone calls. FML
Today, I want on a date with a man I met on the internet. While talking over drinks, I asked him what he did for a living. He said he was a salesman, and that he's really good at it. Interested, I asked him what it was he sold. "Cannabis." FML
socksxox tells us more.
socksxox 19
Hey guys, OP here! Must confess, this actually happened to my mum, who really isn't a fan of weed. If it had happened to me it wouldnt have been such a big deal but for a middle class woman in her 40's its a bit of a shocking statement on a first date! That coupled with the fact he kept suggesting to her that they should get a hotel room was enough to send her running!
Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML
Today, I got written up for coming in to work stoned. I wasn't stoned, I'm just goofy. FML
h00tzForOsi tells us more.
h00tzForOsi 20
Was not expecting this to get posted haha. I see comments saying to tone down the goofiness, trust me I've tried all my life. It's not that simple. For the comments assuming I was obnoxious, that's just not the case. I smile and laugh a lot for what appears to be no reason. But this is usually caused by what I'm thinking of or awkwardness. For the people telling me to take a drug test, um yea about that lol... I'd fail that test harder than people supporting Hillary Clinton solely for her gender. For the people saying I wasn't professional, I work on a machine all day and the only professional part of my job is keeping a quick pace. As for being written up I sorted that out. I have only worked here for 3 months and the supervisor I dealt with hasn't been here for a few months so she isn't familiar with how I am. I spoke to one of the other supervisors who spoke to her and it's all good. For the record I wasn't stoned. Oh and #5 hell yea I am:) nice to see someone who looks on the bright side.
Today, in the current company I'm employed by, I have a better chance at gambling my way to the top, as opposed to working my way up. FML
Tasty
Today, I was eating at a diner one of my friends from work recommended to me. I ordered a chicken salad sandwich, which was pretty good despite the used Band-Aid in it. FML
Today, I was at the airport getting ready to go to Hawaii. The guy at the counter said my flight was delayed. It turns out that the flight that was delayed was a flight going to Miami. My flight left at the regular time, and my luggage was on it, because I checked in the night before. FML
Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML
Reported!
Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML
Today, as I'm a blonde expat in China, I'm used to people taking pictures of me in the street. Nevertheless, I was surprised when someone climbed over the toilets in a mall to take a picture of me as I was changing my tampon. FML
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML