Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year-old guy. FML
Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
deathbreadstick 10
I don't get why your first thought was that it was a cockroach.
eurekaroy 6
Is your house nasty enough that cockroaches get in your bed :/
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (179)
deathbreadstick 10
I don't get why your first thought was that it was a cockroach.
brody510 2
She must have roaches.
Rj93 8
Says she's from New South Wales Australia, they have quite a few roaches there, plus if OP doesn't like bugs so much it's understandable if she's a little paranoid in a place where there's an abundance of them.
margie2194 12
Maybe, it's one of those antique bug shaped really expensive necklaces, in that case FYL OP
Jaxx66 21
Roaches are nasty. When a big rain storm comes the giant ones come into houses and that's happened to me. :( But since when do FML's with spelling errors get put into the rotation?
iam_yummylicious 12
@26- That's all good and fine, but wouldn't she recall wearing a necklace? The OP is a spaz. Irrationally freaking out doesn't get you anywhere, lol. YDI. @33-Quite often. They mods usually correct them and continue pretending they're perfect. :D
ienjoithinqs 0
Why would you touch a cockroach in the first place -.-?????
zombicidal 11
do women normally wear Jewelery to bed?
Bunnynapper47 6
Not usually. But I don't get how she could had grabbed her necklace and flung it across the room if she was wearing it. Shouldn't it have been connected together?
VeganVampyre 27
Thank you! I was wondering why no one else thought of that. If she was wearing it, she shouldn't have been able to fling it across the room. Unless it was so cheap it broke the second she touched it, in which case I wouldn't think it would be that big a deal to lose it...
clairejen 3
43- I personally do. I don't see the point of taking it all off just to put it back on again
zombicidal 11
being a man my only jewelry is my class ring and We Came As Romans wrist band and I take both off before bed
iluvhobos 5
I just don't understand why people wear jewelry to bed, except plugs.
chell1894 13
At least it wasn't a kitten
chell1894 13
And 1 my first reaction when I feel a slight tickle is oh my god it's a bug. And I know most people react that way.
iam_yummylicious 12
I can't stand wearing jewelry to bed... or anything. I sleep either in the nude or a pair of boxers. It seems like it would be rather uncomfortable to sleep with jewelry on o.O
alpaquette91 9
WIN 44
Jennyboo5797 4
"Be careful though. We got some baaaadddd roaches here"
Jovecove 13
Haha I panic too when I get a random tickle... From my hair.
malignantmegan 3
It's not just me :D
venusvsmars 2
34, if you have a bug phobia, you can't help irrationally freaking out, it's like an instinct.
erin0 8
67 is right. Plus, if OP was in bed, she may have been too half-asleep to remember that she had a necklace on.
XDSmilezXD 4
Uhm, she didn't want it on her. Duh. She had to get it off somehow. -.- Stupid question...
farhil 14
I thought a first reaction would be to swipe at it, not grab it and throw it against the wall. And wouldn't she have had to take the necklace off before she threw it?
every1luvspuns 0
LOL. and this sounds fake, if the neckase was around ur neck then it wudnt fly across the room and second if it wasnt around ur neck how wud it randomly get on ur neck and give u the crawly feeling?
TheCylonmaster 3
Well at least we no the bed bugs will never bite OP
kriselgin21 0
I have a necklace I never take off-not even in the shower.
PutItIn 8
16- She must have cocks.
Prankster7o7 5
Rather have a roach than a giant ass wolf spider crawl on me when I was trying to sleep, true story.
stoneywoney 3
Are you gay?
cookie_3008 4
Happens to all of us... Ok, no.. Its just you. Sorry about your necklace. =(
NuTrees 9
It had to be cheap to break in thousands of pieces. Just sayin. YDI for the cheap jewelry.
NomOnShroomz 14
Wow #2 those dogs look delicious, and I don't mean cute, more like I want them in my belly...
KiddNYC1O 22
Not all of us but most of us.
stoneywoney 3
#3 must be Mexican. Oh God.
UserError94 18
Am I the only one that's weirded out she wore jewellery to bed...? Hopefully it was a short chain neckless or this story would go on explaining how she asphyxiated in her sleep
jillianmathers12 13
Why would there be a cockroach in your bed?
tylersign 11
It crawled in there?
fatme2012 7
Its happened to me before..it's terrifying. I don't blame you OP.
False_Stupidity 42
Roaches can fly.
eurekaroy 6
Is your house nasty enough that cockroaches get in your bed :/
mariazzz 5
At least it wasn't a creepy crawly
sofia_palermo 1
Isn't that the thing that cleans your pool?
ZebcoGirl 0
If you are living somewhere were you would think a cockroach would be on your neck during the night, you need to move or clean..
PurplePoet 5
Actually, in many warm places (like Australia) houses are pretty open. I lived in Hawaii and We didn't have many glass windows. They were all louvers. We also left them (and the doors) open most of the time. It's easy for roaches to crawl in and nearly impossible to get rid of them. They're tough. So it isn't that they're house is junky, they just live in a warm place where roaches are prominent.
upyourzlolz 11
It's okay, because diamonds are forever.
icyfire617 10
So are cockroaches... 0_o
Wheredidgrungego 12
Don't pearls break kinda easily though? Correct me if I'm wrong.
Enslaved 38
Yeah, pearl necklaces can break easily. Depending on how well they're strung. *fighting off dirty thoughts.*
zombicidal 11
no they aren't doesn't anyone on this site listen to Bring Me The Horizon
manbearpig7173 0
47: I do, and I get the joke! :D
Enslaved 38
I do too! I feel like I just ---spilled my ******* guts! Saying I do. (:
Snookie85 19
Hahaha
Snookie85 19
Hahaha
CassieStrawbs 7
BMTH suuuuuuuucks.
simpleplan239999 1
No no you suck. Bring Me The Horizon is awesome
ColtsDoug18 0
well atleast it really wasn't a cockroach!
amadais 1
I like ur pic lol
ColtsDoug18 0
I've been getting that a lot lately, hahaa
Lover_babe 0
Haha I so love your pic
KYLAisaBITCH 4
I would think there is a difference in the way the necklace, and a cockroach feels?
Cinn_fml 23
Next time just try swatting whatever it is rather than...that, but at least it's a lesson learnt.
Enslaved 38
Hopefully, there won't be a next time. (: She panicked so, getting whatever is crawling on you fast! is a natural instinct.
Cinn_fml 23
Agreed. But surely swatting it would be easier than grabbing it..?
meatbunss 1
But then she'd have roach guts on her neck. D:
Cinn_fml 23
...Wash them off?
baconstripslover 8
Squishing roaches spews their eggs everywhere, I wouldn't recommend squishing one.
Cinn_fml 23
Ok, if that is true then fair play.