Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML
Today, as someone with a large chest, I'm used to sometimes finding food in my clothes at the end of the day. However, when I took off my bra off, I found half of a dead grasshopper. FML
Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML
Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML
Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML
Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML
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Top comments
LyricaSilvan 30
Oh god...That mental image gave me chills. Ugh.
karacakal2 30
Lucky insect.
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Comments (17)
karacakal2 30
Lucky insect.
Cynical_1 26
Well...that's one insect with a knack for finding great places to hide. Apparently even bugs love boobs.
Ultimate_Batman 28
Does FML Staff see all comments?
Cali 57
We see all of everything.
Tripartita 45
Excellent. The second sentence needs an indefinite article between "saw" and "small". Might I recommend my favorite indef-art*: "a"? *cool people abbreviation of indefinite article.
Cali 57
Noted.
chirstinap325 23
I feel like the insect was framed.
dramaelf 37
Cheeky little bug, isn't he?
Tripartita 45
Note to self: if I ever feel the need to bite someone, have a small bug at the ready to throw into their bra and take the blame.
RichardPencil 32
Yeah, we know the size of the bite and the insect, but what is the size of the bra?
commandokid 13
Lol wait were you still wearing the bra at the time?
anaheimangels40 11
I Guess this is where the term boobs the size of insect bites comes From!
melana09 19
The bug got in a booby trap