Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year-old guy. FML
Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
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Top comments
deathbreadstick 10
I don't get why your first thought was that it was a cockroach.
eurekaroy 6
Is your house nasty enough that cockroaches get in your bed :/
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Comments (179)
Pixii 0
If the necklace breaks into a dozen pieces that's an indication that it's cheap enough to buy a new one
5t3ff1k4h 47
Pearl necklaces aren't cheap. Just a thought..
SteelCladAngel 0
Depends on the...pearls it's made from Some pearl necklaces are free! ;D
hahaha99 4
You deserve it. And next time, learn how to spell "pieces."
LinaLyssic 12
YDI for wearing a necklace while you're in bed...
Offensive_fml 4
Doesn't sound logical. How did you remove a necklace THAT FAST while it was tied around your neck? It can't be THAT huge, can it?!
wdfcrystal 6
I bet your room is really dirty if you think they're roaches on your neck...Does that happen normally?
sarkaar 30
"peice" be upon you!
Rawr6591 21
How cheap is that necklace for it to be so easily snatched off and broken in to a dozen pieces
dbridget 0
Why would it be a cochroach?
ladychocolate_fml 0
ur house can be the cleanest house on the block but if u hav toilets and sinks or any kind of pipes that lead to sewage u can hav roaches y'all dumb as he'll on here fa real....Srry bout ur necklace....ignore the ignorance
Youadoreme69 4
Why does every one assume that because she has cockroaches her house is trash and filthy? A lot of people get them just because of where they live. It has nothing to do with the condition of their house.