Luna
Carmel, United States
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Where did you come from?
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
theapplesleader
Washington, United States
Yucky!
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML
Anonymous
United States
Sole music
Today, a thumb tack came out of one of my posters on my wall. The sole of my foot had the pleasure of finding it. FML
Anonymous
Sparta, United States
Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML
triplenipple
Sweden
Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
inosehowthatgotthere
United States
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
pierced.
Reno, United States
Ouchies
Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML
Top comments
theslimshadylp 6
I think you should get checked out for lime disease.....
Bluefrog9636 7
I bet that really ticked you off..!... I got nothing... I like nipples.
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Comments (187)
BlackNinja787 6
That Sucks
Glitterhinoceros 14
Well, how long did it take you to notice?
SweetJTBR 22
Is she alright even?
Sawarski 13
Well, I must admit of all the places to choose from on OP the Nipple would be the easiest place to hide. Maybe this tick prefers milk over blood.
lukenpg 6
Less than a day and you're fine. Otherwise you might get an infected nipple, which believe me, is not a fun tick bite to deal with.
jetsown08 21
I'm guessing it didn't take too long to notice as long as OP was doing their bi-weekly nipple checkup. What, you guys don't do that?
WaSiSimiLang 8
How long? Depends on how fat the op's nipple was! Quoting deuce bigalow, "That's a huge bitch!" Yes, I was referring to both the nipple and the tick
patrickalamo 48
Good bye tic Hello limes disease
ratmond101 0
Glitterhen you have to be the prettiest girl I have seen
onealmxwilson 18
That tick knew what it was going for. It wasn't a coincidence that it was on your nipple.
pikaboo_fml 5
121 - Too bad her picture isn't her.
hbbs93 6
OP must have inverted nipples. Otherwise I don't understand how the tick got in there.
PeachesnCream88 0
Shower, rub, dry?
theslimshadylp 6
I think you should get checked out for lime disease.....
theslimshadylp 6
Lyme* my bad
LuckyLynx7732 5
That only comes from deer ticks.
GovernorGeneral 8
Oooooh the doc would love that.
FlyingPie 17
#7: "Bad" is an adjective. Thus, a "bad" is not a thing that you can have.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#49 - Well, THAT was an annoying, unnecessary comment.
FlyingPie 17
I don't know, I think there's something to be said for good & clear grammar..
theslimshadylp 6
Ok my **MISTAKE**
theslimshadylp 6
Seriously though dude but that made you sound like a major douche.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#58 - I don't know, seeing as you're 32 (if you're age really is correct), don't you have anything better to do rather than pick on a phrase that is used on a daily basis?
theslimshadylp 6
#64 you took the words out of my mouth mad props to you.
gmc_blossom 21
49- I'm all for correcting grammar, I really am. But even I think your comment was just totally unnecessary. Saying, "my bad" is very common amongst everybody. I hope you enjoy being an insufferable prick.
Laura1804 2
Yeah I think you should get checked out for lyme also. It's not fun to have. I would know.
ScaughtieHolden 11
Haha, FlyingPie you're such a troll!
TheSilentLoner 4
Are you aware Flying Pig that there are two periods at the end of your sentence? 1 would have been appropriate for a statement and 3 would have made and ellipsis, indicating more is to follow. Ha ha take that! Don't pick on grammar if you can't even get your own right.
TheSilentLoner 4
*Pie
krazy_93 0
I had it too! it sucks get checked!!
MisterDoctor 12
Kinky. O_o
chillyCholo 5
Lucky bastard
nightskye 4
No. Just.. no.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
That takes sucking ******* to a whole new level...
TheMysticSilas 0
Hey, the tick could've been in a place a lot worse
Krirn 21
That tick knows the way to your heart ;)
onlychildFTW 34
Haha you and that tick came so close to being one happy couple.
biglittlehead 12
I read this in Magneto's voice from Xmen First Class.
Skinwalker131 5
Yes another Xmen fan!! While I'm commenting, that is a smart tick. (sorry I have no puns)
atomic_rectum 0
With great power comes great responsibility.
HighGTurn 12
Ok.....?
GovernorGeneral 8
I GOT THE POWER.
monkeybanana 7
Does that have anything to do with this FML? If so, please explain.
tisvana20 6
Well you see, OP has the power to use her body to attract any kind of insect towards it, however she neglected to check what insect she was feeling like that day and attracted ticks. OP is basically Magneto and Ant Man's baby. Dare I say, the Tick Magnet?
Daftendirekt1 0
I think he was making a Spiderman reference. What with him getting bitten by a spider then getting super powers.
sens3sfailing 25
I think so too but the bs explanation the other person pulled off is quite impressive lol
False_Stupidity 42
So, the OP is magneTIC?
Bluefrog9636 7
I bet that really ticked you off..!... I got nothing... I like nipples.
Bluefrog9636 7
Oh yeah! And before I forget, you should probably get your nipples checked out....
Bluefrog9636 7
B4 it's to late OP....
GovernorGeneral 8
Is it bingo time already? :O
Bluefrog9636 7
No, I'm just to lazy to type, 'Before'... Nice try though.
wellfuuucckme 7
48- I disliked your comment :3
jkmartinjk 16
Regarding your name 53, no. Regarding your profile, they can't stand you either. Regarding your comment... I disliked yours as well.
Bluefrog9636 7
53- was that really necessary??
Tophatz98 5
53- I disliked your comment
GovernorGeneral 8
I like nipples too but #8, your misuse of the word 'too' got to me. It's "too* late" and "too* lazy" Give me your thoughts on a nipple bath.
WaSiSimiLang 8
You made my day 57, I was thinking along the same lines as you, albeit more of phrases like "STFU GTFO bitch!"
VoteForTaco 8
81-My thoughts on a nipple bath? *me gusta* there you have it.
Bluefrog9636 7
What the he'll is a nipple bath??? Don't get me wrong it sounds intriguing.... Jk.
False_Stupidity 42
I volunteer to check OP's nipples out.... unless OP is male
rainbowkissies 14
its funny that 53 got more dislikes than 48 got likes. :D 48- i would count the dislikes as likes, if i were you. feel very accomplished.
imaginger1 4
Well, Luna is kind of a girls name...
weasel123 9
Have you not heard of tick nipple rings? It's the new craze!
MikeMikeTheAzn 3
I wonder if it layer any eggs while in your... Ehmm.. nipple.
MikeMikeTheAzn 3
Layer*
asoptavlo14 6
Lays?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Laid*
MrPlopper 9
Did someone say laid?
GovernorGeneral 8
Yeah...33 just did.
Snackycake 20
Whenever I hear that a bug laid eggs under something I keep thinking that once the bugs grow they will get so big their nest will explode. So, according to my logic, op's nipples will explodeO_O
rin142 12
Maybe that's what the Tick was trying to get. I mean, he was half buried in her nipple... Pretty sure that's foreplay, lol. Right?
TJhudson181 12
Laid
pxndiieinsanity 6
The correct term would be "laid", gentlemen.
cubie21 7
Laid*?
MissAmz 7
Wouldn't you have felt it trying to burrow its way into such a sensitive area? My goodness! I hope it doesn't end up getting infected.
mystashisgone 6
I think a tick releases a venom or whatever the word is that numbs the area as its biting somewhat like mosquito or a leach so that the blood doesn't coagulate while it is trying to ingest it. Some people can feel all of the above bites but many cannot because of this. Don't be worried it isn't just you, good luck!
MissAmz 7
Oh, I didn't know that..! Well, I know now haha ^_^