Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year-old guy. FML
Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
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Top comments
deathbreadstick 10
I don't get why your first thought was that it was a cockroach.
eurekaroy 6
Is your house nasty enough that cockroaches get in your bed :/
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Comments (179)
PokeMandee 4
germs don't stick to cockroaches easily so they are only as dirty as whatever they are standing on at the time. plus they have the habit of cat-like grooming. they also eat the eggs of fleas, bedbugs, and lice that live in your home, so be thankful they're there. just keep a clean house and you'll have clean roaches. they're harmless
ea5tbayf1nest 8
What kind of necklace breaks into a dozen pieces? Must be cheap!
coffee2353 11
Why would you spend your money on a new necklace if you have cockroaches?
general58 2
Australia must be full of cockroaches.
scottyspot 11
If you have such a bad problem with roaches that they get into your bed on occasion a broken necklace is the least of your problems.
nessamarks 0
If you think you have cockroaches, why would you buy a new necklace and not have your house fumigated?
tyceabbott101 4
Is ur neclace that cheap that it would break like that?
Youadoreme69 4
Who cares if the necklace was cheap or not. That's not the point. The point is that it was new and she obviously liked it. I would be upset if I broke something brand new and I liked it, cheap or not.
DrummersGirl_14 0
Why do you have cockroaches...?
loserman67 36
the first thing you thought was cockroach??? Your house must be really nasty. Time for the exterminator (then the jeweler),,,,