Today, I was alone in the car with my crush. For reasons I will never understand, I put on the song 'Kiss a Girl' by Keith Urban. I could feel her cringing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML
Today, my love life is so godawful that I started ugly-crying when the song "Love Hurts" began playing on the radio while I was driving. I had to pull over. Several people passing by stopped to see if I needed help. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML
Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML
Today, I went on what I thought was a solo outing with my longtime crush. He decided to invite a friend along. I had to pick her up half an hour away from town, he treated her to the movie we were watching while I had to pay for myself, he fingered her in the theatre, and made out with her on the drive home. FML
Today, I decided to confess my feelings and perform a love song I'd written for my crush during an open mic night. He was there - he also took the opportunity to declare his love to his on-off girlfriend, get down on one knee and propose to her. She said yes. FML
Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to confess my feelings to this girl I'm crazy about. I even wrote and recorded a song for her. Instead of listening to it, she gave it to her ex-boyfriend, who responded to my heartfelt words by headbutting me. FML
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML
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Top comments
pjsr 33
Next time try playing "My Dingaling" by Chuck Berry, because I'm pretty sure that's all you're going to be playing with for a while.
1DisGR8 32
You were just nervous! I hope you turned it off right away though.
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Comments (9)
1DisGR8 32
You were just nervous! I hope you turned it off right away though.
Glowworm56 27
Could have been worse. At least it wasn't "Piece of Heaven" by Avenged Sevenfold.
Arashikage 18
Ripped her heart out right before her eyes
Glowworm56 27
"Eyes over easy, eat it, eat it, eat it!"
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Simply put she is just not that into you.
pjsr 33
Next time try playing "My Dingaling" by Chuck Berry, because I'm pretty sure that's all you're going to be playing with for a while.
Lalala579121 28
Should have put on the Ding Dong Song.
RichardPencil 32
Let me give it a shot. You're alone with a girl. You put on the song "Kiss a Girl" She deduces that you want to kiss her. The thought of kissing you repulsed her. That's my take -- it's just a theory.
Lalala579121 28
A song theory.
Dave_Davington 34
Thanks for watching.
killer1525 20
Good song
vsco 0
Maaaaate I would have made out with you on the spot had that been me. Just realised you're from Brisbane too! Let me know if things don't work out with your crush :~)
thefmlman2011 37
Brisbane here aswell! Just saying
GoddessMadoka 12
She clearly has no taste because Keith Urban is p. great.