Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year-old guy. FML
Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
deathbreadstick 10
I don't get why your first thought was that it was a cockroach.
eurekaroy 6
Is your house nasty enough that cockroaches get in your bed :/
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (179)
CrazyManNo9 29
This happeneed to me in the Grand Canyon, only it was a SCORPION and it stung the heck out of my hand! Ouch!
choloman 0
ya hahaha stoopid
aPieceOfFruit 16
That's what you get for trying to deal with it yourself. you should have called.... roach busters! *cough*.....sorry
darkmis1 18
Why would you think it was a cockroach?
fuzz97 23
LOOK AT OP LOOK AT HER AND LAUGH
lionlvr 9
Why would you think it was cockroaches? I would pull it off as my dog first....
Madkitty2403 1
Guess diamonds aren't your best friend girl :)
sincerelykaysea 5
This made me rofl!!! xD I know how that feels!!
Roevera 14
How do you fling a necklace, which is chained around your neck across the room.. You must of used some pretty strong force to break the chain from around your neck.. I mean, most necklaces shouldn't break from a swat of the hand......
GrammaticalNazi 2
7 - If OP was so sure it's a cockroach, then I doubt it's a diamond necklace...