Mr 30 years-old Single
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML
Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML
Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML
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