Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year-old guy. FML
Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
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Top comments
deathbreadstick 10
I don't get why your first thought was that it was a cockroach.
eurekaroy 6
Is your house nasty enough that cockroaches get in your bed :/
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Comments (179)
LockAndKey13 1
well that sucks!
ladypnk85 2
Ok if your house is trashy and had cockroaches you need to pay to exterminate or move, not pay for new jewelry. I bet u don't have health insurance either.
laceyanneman 7
Woah there.never assume.
laceyanneman 7
Also, that's pretty idiotic to think someone doesn't have health insurance because they thought they had a cockroach on them
KB616 11
Jeez douche bag, bugs get in people's houses. You can't feasibly keep every little creepy crawler out. Also, different parts of the world have larger populations of certain bugs. So chill out.... & by the way, WTF does her having health insurance have anything to do with it?? Weirdo.
TypicuL 0
Why would you think it's a cockroach? And who sleeps with jewellery on?
SirWrangler 5
*pieces
FarSide 23
Something tells me you will definitely be able to replace it at WalMart.
leadman1989 16
Op you're right one time I DIDN'T panic and it turned out to be a cockroach then I ******* lost it... I ended up scrubbing myself down in the shower but no matter how much I cleaned I was still filthy and could feel it molesting me over and... oh um I mean FYL!!!
ikickgingers 15
That wasn't a cockroach... Want some candy?
mileyfan17 8
Didn't u know u had a necklace on. Sorry about the necklace
iluvcandy 7
If you didn't know you have to see what it is first before you react to it and if it was a cockroach it wouldn't tickle only one you would feel it walking on your neck..duhh
naddification 7
I commiserate. I'd have thought and done the exact same thing. Terribly afraid of cockroaches! And other insects for that matter.
im2sassy2live 0
what kind of necklace did u have cuz a necklace shouldn't burst in dozens of pieces lol