Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year-old guy. FML
Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
deathbreadstick 10
I don't get why your first thought was that it was a cockroach.
eurekaroy 6
Is your house nasty enough that cockroaches get in your bed :/
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (179)
chinaDoll87 0
Aq
Jormantha 0
What was your necklace made of? Glass?
skyeyez9 25
years ago when our family went camping, I felt a tickle across my cheek......It was a very large wolf spider with lots of spider babies on its back. O.O
SteelCladAngel 0
I think I may have pissed my pants and cried like a colicky baby if I woke up because a wolf spider (any spider really) was crawling on my face carrying it's young D;
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I think I would have straight up passed out on the spot.
KB616 11
OH. MY. GOD. I am so terrified of spiders that I can't even look at pictures of them or see them on TV. If I had one on my face w/ it's babies... *shivers* I probably woulda damn near ripped my face off trying to get rid of it, thrown up, & had a heart attack. Holy shit that's gross!
icic6772 0
Let me guess you're blonde right?
MyLifeIsWierd 12
Please Try Again.
thinkingatheist 8
Maybe a cockroach is laughing it's ass off somewhere in your room, no? Bad joke? :(
BritLass 15
Maybe it just wasn't meant to be! :D
Mxpxdude189 0
no one has told you to not sleep with jewelry on? well this is the reason why...
bubo_fml 11
gotta git outa da ghetto!
Yarrachel 16
How does this happen? I could see swatting at the back of the necklace, but how does this action end with you ripping off the necklace and flinging it across the room?
creedaddict 9
Happened to me but it wasn't a neckless it was a huge bug