jmac
United States
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
zztopspinner
United States
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
ouch.
Stamford, United States
Not my day, is it?
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Anonymous
Seattle, United States
Today, I dropped my knitting project while I was sitting down, but I managed to catch it between my legs. So my knitting needles also caught me. FML
HarvestMoon_gal
United States
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Anonymous
Eugene, United States
Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML
Eleanor
Leeds, United Kingdom
Slice of life
Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML
Anonymous
Put it away
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Godzilla’s wife
Orange, United States
Fork off
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Spice
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Top comments
punk6743 0
I used to cook, then i took a chefs knife to the knee.
PYLrulz 17
Ok, how many of those godforsaken "Arrow to Knee" jokes, or modified versions of it, will there be?!?
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Comments (137)
Jiinxx 8
sucks to be you, eh?
shanemaximo 7
This could have turned out so much worse.
ElricMustang 23
O.o you have "derp" written on your profile...when does the narwhal bacon?
oops_im_fucked 8
So how was the meal?
VoteForTaco 8
14-Midnight
KaanTech 0
9 do you mean like took an arrow to the knee maybe ?
Jiinxx 8
I wish I could say I knew what your question meant..
Bobissmall 13
My goddamn #14, do you really think that all memes and things like "derp" only come from reddit? This is why the rest of the internet, especially 4chan, hate redditors.
AmongstTheFaces 5
To be a cook like you, then I took a knife to the knee.
Jakesterk96 8
*face palm* *I used
n_epic_fail 14
"I use to love cooking, until I took a knife to the knee." no I still like the sound of "arrow" better.
CrassKal 27
I'm unsure which would have been a better area to take a knife. The feet contain a lot of nerve endings, so they feel a lot more pain, but the knee is the most complicated joint in the body.
manlikebanana 0
I used to make "arrow to the knee" jokes but then I took a pussy to my dick
xattitudegurlx 13
How did it manage to hit your knee?
MustangGirl72 9
I hope that wasn't a serious question.
iamyummylicious 14
Oh but it was.
yahoowizard 16
I can imagine it scraping it, but even then, you're wearing pants
MustangGirl72 9
41: Not everyone wears pants while cooking. Some wear shorts or nothing and it could have been a very sharp knife.
iamyummylicious 14
They could be wearing shorts or be in their underwear. :D
thisisafunnyname 12
Well then it very nearly could have hit his penis. Depending on OP's penile length and whether or not he is aroused by cooking.
Bryceps 4
Gravity?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
No, no, no you're all wrong. OP's knee clearly tried to be helpful and catch the knife..
bungee_fml 9
One word - Ouch.
ALlamaOnFire 20
I guess you took a knife to the knee... Sorry, I had to
ladyLALAA 29
Should've been wearing knee pads!
wheel4deal 5
That's 3 words.
miz_kamakazi 11
Look on the bright side, at least it didn't hit your crotch.
AkshaySauce 5
My testicles serve as an excellent pillow and/or pincushion.
ladyLALAA 29
Pincushions and knife blocks are also good for resting knives on/in. :)
hubla 0
I use to be a great cook like you until I took a knife to the knee
Jesus_Christ69 0
Then she could have acquired a second ****** :)
thisisafunnyname 12
"Today while cooking, I dropped a knife and it gave me a cut on my crotch that started bleeding. I called an ambulance and the paramedic was a super hot chick. I got a boner and then the blood started shooting out of the cut on my dick. FML"
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
Oh my god the amount of arrow to the knee type jokes that can be made is enormous but i wont say anything and leave the rest up to your imagination.
Swiftly 0
101- It's a man...
elat4lolz 0
ydi for not making a woman do the cooking
PYLrulz 17
Ok, how many of those godforsaken "Arrow to Knee" jokes, or modified versions of it, will there be?!?
MsMeiriona 2
Well, the first one seemed to be made the second after you had the thought, so...
TehCoopeh 6
Ah damn, I was hoping to make some but you already pointed it out and there are some down there. Not soon enough
JurassicHole 5
58 - No.
Jiplo 18
I used to cook like yo... SHUT THE **** UP!!!
bizarre_ftw 22
I used to cook like you, but then- well, actually no.... I've never managed to drop a sharp object only to impale a seemingly out-of-risk part of my body, how does one cook like you again?
crazyblackchick 0
Brace yourself The 'Arrow to the knee' jokes are coming.
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
No 58 you will be thumbed down mercilessly
cuddlycactus 11
not enough
punk6743 0
I used to cook, then i took a chefs knife to the knee.
blacksniper 0
That sucks
CryMoreFMLs 15
Well, I'm still a chef, but only because I took a rolling pin to the knee... I really hate myself for making a "to the knee" joke now...
Deeznutzhairy 7
OMG, is the knife okay? ):
mentalkayse 7
Yeah, is the knife ok?
bananasquid21 6
#15- I like how original you are.
Bball_boy15 3
I'm sorry to say this but it didn't make it. :'(
Awes0meperson 10
Nooooooo
ABiggerPenus 0
Almost took a knife to the knee there.
iamyummylicious 14
I think you need to work on your reading comprehension just a tad bit. :) "It hit my knee" =/= "Almost"
iamyummylicious 14
=/= should be ≠, but I couldn't figure out how to make the inequation symbol on my phone :|.
zachherbert 10
Don't worry. Here on FML, we settle for close enough.
bizarre_ftw 22
Unless it's spelling. then your sentenced to a firing squad
mdtdnb 7
Not the best time to use Muy Thai as your defense ;)