Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Today, the only man who has ever fallen in love with me is bald. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
Today, I made out with the guy I've had a huge crush on for the first time. He wrapped his arms around me, and whispered softly into my ear, "I can't wait to bone you." FML
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like, "I'm a bear." FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
Today, I got my boyfriend shirtless for the first time and I noticed that he had unusual flat nipples. I asked about it and he said that since men don’t need them and he didn’t like them making small pokies under his T-shirt, he cut them off with a razor when he was 19. Um, WHAT? FML
Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML
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Top comments
Dr_Phil 0
I'm not sure how this makes your life suck. I think this is pretty awesome and am now going to go shave my name into my chest hair.
exceptyourheart 0
that's amazing. i'm sorry....but that's just absolutely amazing.
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Comments (93)
exceptyourheart 0
that's amazing. i'm sorry....but that's just absolutely amazing.
alliewillie 22
"hooked up with this man"... YDI.
joedirtxtc 5
At least she said man and not guy.
Dr_Phil 0
I'm not sure how this makes your life suck. I think this is pretty awesome and am now going to go shave my name into my chest hair.
pman590 8
it'll take a long time to shave kahulaulauklaibini in
nonameisaname 0
ROFL!
BJacobs 0
hahaha, my freind patrick carved a big P into his chest with nair, it was so funny.... especially when his nipples started bleeding
Eir_fml 1
I wouldn't have hooked up with him. I'd try to laugh to make him think it looks stupid enough, and leave.
holynemesis1208 3
that just took me back to the 40 year old virgin and the man-o-latern.
onions 0
thats awesome
Chura 0
i bet he was the 'latin-lover' type.. and i hope he had a name like francisco adalberto
klynn_fml 0
EWW........
yougotboyed 0
absolute legend