Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
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Top comments
Savra_fml 17
First he puts on dirty underwear after a shower, and now this! Stop giving head OP!
nick347b 6
He's enjoying it. Trust me, I'm a guy.
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Comments (221)
SheepShoop_fml 20
Adding sensations is fun. Offer him a q-tip in the future. I'm sure the combination of the pleasure one gets sticking something in their ear that doesn't belong there will only add to the pleasure of getting blown. He could have been bored, he could have had something distracting going on in there, you could have blown his mind and he was left dumb and unsure of what else to do... maybe he's got a nasal fetish...
GoW_Chick 15
That's s'not cool! What is it with these picks in husbands on FML, they're all blowing it, sorry, don't explode all over my thread, I'm just digging for the truth, not trying to be nosey.
perdix 31
She should have kept her head down and not boogered up the whole thing.
The_Hitdude 12
Wow, you reached for that one. I think you blew it. OP picked a real winner though! Ok, kill me now. Please make it quick.
nu1alex 0
That's why they're on FML, they're losers.
BostonBruinsFan 8
61, the REAL losers, aka me, don't get posted!!
xXRazelleLuniiXx 9
#67 Well, I'm guessing that applies to you too sunny boy. You "picked" the wrong crowd, sir.
Regmeister 10
You're so demanding! Hahaha kidding! FYL...
oXali 0
You're doing something wrong then. Next time you blow him, if he looks at you start picking your nose.
ice723 5
if he doesn't appreciate your efforts you can come over here
Fmlsea 28
Mood kill guess who won't be getting a bj for awhile lol its sad if u do the same when he goes down on u .
metalflower01 7
That's pretty epic... I wish there was a picture of this. I mean, one that didn't show the goods downstairs, but got the point across.
Gunplay 6
Give better head
xSonic 9
Or stare at a photograph of his best friend
PedoPancakes 7
Way to ruin the moment. :P