Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML
Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML
Today, I sneezed while eating a bowl of soup. As I did, a glob of carrot shot out of my nose like a missile, and I couldn’t stop laughing. My boyfriend, who was sitting across from me, wasn’t so amused when the glob splashed all over his white shirt. He’s now mad at me for “ruining his only smart shirt.” FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
Today, my husband and I were lovingly holding hands on the couch. I'm not typically a cuddler, but I went with it… until he sneezed into his hands. This would of been fine, if my hand wasn't still coupled with his. His laugh suggested harmless fun. My drenched hand suggested murder. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
BOOM, HEADSHOT WTF he doesn't cover his face when he sneezes? You should sneeze and blow snot all over him next time you blow him.
metonymy 0
He shoots, he scores!
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Comments (48)
allmidnighteyes 11
BOOM, HEADSHOT WTF he doesn't cover his face when he sneezes? You should sneeze and blow snot all over him next time you blow him.
stone_light 0
#1 beyond epic win PWNED NUB and GF gf(even though they are husband and wife...) would have been sufficient but headshot is just awesome
epicfailburger 0
never interupt a man when he's playing. actualy, last time someone did that to me I stabbed them and licked the knife.
ZleveL 0
^ lol win!
epicfailburger 0
Ty:)
ItzAbstract 12
he didn't know she was behind him
metonymy 0
He shoots, he scores!
emilysanftwsom 0
#2 is win.
assasin_fml 0
gorillad
Intoxicunt 6
What other bodily substances do you take loads of into your eye?
MsTs1 0
semen, my own vaginal fluids, poop, pee
Intoxicunt 6
You must be Asian.
Intoxicunt 6
Lmfao. Nice. How do you shit in your eye? I'm going to go try that. Mercy, do you use any IM?
BakerMan_fml 0
damn, beat me to it. I was gonna make the bodily fluids joke...
poper123 0
yuck
Stunt_fml 5
FLAWLESS VICTORY! You got pwn3d.
jchansfan 0
LOL It would have been funny if he did it right as you yelled "BOOOO-gers..." :P
giiiiinge 0
hahahaha, win.
talilafangs 0
Ohhhh man...I did that to my ex boyfriend once. I bet he felt terrible, I sure did! Though he deserved it cause he made me laugh by moving really slowly towards my face while i was crying. :p You however, not so much.
EMR_fml 0
Sneak=YDI, sorry
MandieHart 0
hahahaha that's what you get :D
allmidnighteyes 11
When you let your heart win? Or for waking up in Vegas?
jchansfan 0
LOL... I like the Paramore song referenced, but that Katy Perry one makes me want to burn down Las Vegas so i never have to hear about it again... lmao... :P
Stormx 0
They're as bad as eachother. I really see no difference in terms of hooks and levels of artistry (i.e. none)
Intoxicunt 6
SupermegatetragrammaWIN. AME wins too. Now I have both songs simultaneously playing in my head.