Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
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Top comments
Savra_fml 17
First he puts on dirty underwear after a shower, and now this! Stop giving head OP!
nick347b 6
He's enjoying it. Trust me, I'm a guy.
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Comments (221)
harshpatel009 4
So do the 1st reply of the 1st comment.;)
lovepotion75 4
Dump his ass?
chillyCholo 5
I think you failed to notice the "husband" part in this FML.
BountyBass 13
Pick a winner
candirose711 0
Haha wow..... that's insulting..
SnowGo 1
Hi candi
TPSerigne 9
Um creeper, no creeping please...
pat_can1984 3
Nice
candirose711 0
176 - nice? Haha.
danishbagel 3
How else would I present my opinion? Wait for someone else to post first THEN post myself?
Deemee 3
******* over.
TalkingTowelTim 0
Make sure you DON'T let him finger you!
marzipanimal 15
While ur having sex u should grab a book off the nightstand and start reading while he's in u. Hahahah.(:
GoW_Chick 15
"You know what you don't see in pornos, intelligent conversations during sex."
MrSexyPants 14
70, where is that from? It's on the edge of mah brain but I just don't know!
ssnowywinter 0
70- Ghosts of FMLs past! :)
HetaliaFreak 10
93- An earlier FML.
BostonBruinsFan 8
Was that YOUR FML??
fernclogger 5
Stop and wet a vacuum and put it on his dick... See If he notices..
jellypufftarts 0
Am sure he will ^^
harshpatel009 4
Duhh
dirtroadmopar 0
but was he wearing clean underwear?