Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML
Today, during oral sex, my wife squirted, which she’s never done before, and I was so surprised I accidentally breathed it straight up my nose. It’s been 3 hours and it’s still all I can smell FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML
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Top comments
Leeono 26
What cums around goes around.
RichardPencil 32
A true gentleman yells, “Fire in the hole” just before the moment of truth. Chivalry is dead.
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Comments (32)
Leeono 26
What cums around goes around.
BurnInDemonFire 39
You don't see Penn and Teller doing that!
Phillycheeze 20
So you definitely are not a swallower.
Hejira Hayes 8
Never thought I'd see anyone do the condom challenge without a condom, but here we are.
RichardPencil 32
A true gentleman yells, “Fire in the hole” just before the moment of truth. Chivalry is dead.
Miss_Whipped 43
And they say-- And they say-- And they say-- And they say chivalry is dead.
whiskey'swino 15
You kids are into some crazy stuff nowadays.
manb91uk 22
Thanks for sharing all your Cummings and goings with the group
Glitchbitch 11
Weird flex but ok...
tash901 31
Unfortunately I have experienced this too! I feel for you op :')
lillstulen 6
Done the reversed one. Not so nice..
chai tea 6
reverse...?