Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted, "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
blcksocks 19
Better than sticking it somewhere else. Or is it?
ILoveFluttershy 3
*Cleveland voice* Oh that's just nasty
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Comments (166)
blcksocks 19
Better than sticking it somewhere else. Or is it?
MrSassypants 34
4 and now you have posted it on FML. YAY!
BeachBoi_Alex 7
You're lucky, my ex was blowing me and slipped me the finger, and i dont think that needs explaining..
Abdul888 16
#1 for me I'd stick it somewhere else ;) instead of a nose, and I'd HAPPILY stick it in that somewhere else.
Obeyy19 4
F YOUR life.
MrBrightside21 20
17 - If that's the case, OP nose he had the best intentions. Damn I'm a clever, original beast.
Skittlepickle 13
Love is in the air
Inheritance 10
Atleast it wasn't his dick that he used to pick your nose.
niall92 6
sounds like he already stuck it somewhere else ;D zing!
ucoolgirl31 20
Nose ******... :)
tjv3 10
Well he had himself in another hole so he was just trying them all out lol
SixtyNyan 0
"Don't you smell great, hun?"
KeyLoLoKye 0
Eww! That's sick and yet so funny to me
ibenj 1
"I'm gonna stick it in every hole you've got"
ibenj 1
"I'm gonna stick it in every hole you've got"
Dirty_Minded_FML 2
At least you has sex ( Why let the finger up the nose ruin it?!)
SarahBearrra 4
Atleast hes not like my ex boyfriend, who would try to stick his finger up my ass at unexpected times when we were cuddling, "just as a joke".
zachherbert 10
Atleast she nose you don't like it now, if you told him. But you chose him, so don't be picky with him....these puns are snot working.
kirrra 11
74. you're 14. why do you have an ex that could even attempt that?!
egmvu 4
True!
ILoveFluttershy 3
*Cleveland voice* Oh that's just nasty
leogirl95 12
*had
Gregory607 1
Fail 52
Lennes 12
You can pick your girlfriend, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose.
rekege 18
I've been there. It's honestly not an FML moment. If your boyfriend is anything like mine, he's just ****** up awesome.
patrickalamo 48
It must be a California thing.,,
tellithowitis 13
That might be the prettiest face I've ever seen in my lifetime as a nose...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
My boyfriend does this to me jokingly...sometimes it pisses me off, like if we're sharing a cute moment, but I usually just laugh it off. My boyfriends a freak; he'd have to be, to put up with me ;)
Trishy_c 5
Lol my boyfriend does the exact same thing and I totally agree at times it's annoying but most the time I just laugh at him
juunebug 2
Yeah mine does it too. He's an oddball lol.
twintroubles693 8
yup. mine is identical. licking my face, sticking his fingers up my nose... however, its gotten to the point where whenever he gets close to my face, im ready to swat him away ahaha
Llamacod 11
maybe you all have the same boyfriend
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Well, that's an unsettling thought :P
rabidfairy 9
my ex did that once. it was weird. glad I'm not alone though..
cacheson 42
It's such a relief to know I'm not the only person this has happened to!
MissAmz 7
Trust idiot guys (not all guys are idiots, though) to ruin a relaxing moment. I had an ex like that. Just because it might seem funny in your head, doesn't mean the other person's going to laugh when you do it to them. Douche.
BulldogHoops 14
but apparently women are flawless and can't ruin a moment by doing something ridiculous? Only guys? Huh.
Smokohauntas 3
I find it funny you "Don't tolerate discrimination of any kind." Your comment seemed a tad bit sexist if you ask me.
boofgall 16
8- Not to mention your lack of a sense of humor. I hardly doubt the guys a douche for goofing around with his girlfriend. Don't be so stuck up.
MissAmz 7
I've also come from an abusive relationship where that was done to me and other annoying things at my expense so yeah, certain things get on my goat. Did I say women were perfect, no. And did I day all men are like that? No. It isn't being stuck up where you no nothing of where my comment came from.
MissAmz 7
Oh and another thing, I clearly stated in brackets that not all guys are idiots. How would you like to be poked, prodded, slapped, pinched, pulled around and punched everyday and told to 'lighten up' because you didn't find the bruises funny? Well, I'm sorry if that means I don't have a sense of humor..
PlaidPanda 9
59- I'm sorry you had an abusive relationship... But, how does an fml about a guy picking his girlfriends nose after sex bring this up?? Seriously.
ulis_fml 6
Well you posted it on Fml, where everyone has a sense of humor. Seriously don't get your feelings hurt by something someone said on the Internet.
MissAmz 7
Well, obviously I have explained motive behind my initial reaction. That doesn't mean I'm hurt by someone over the Internet. I've just decided to explain myself instead.
MissAmz 7
I called upon a past experience to judge this FML. Maybe every one should lighten the **** up, especially if you don't agree with what I've said. ******* bite me.
PlaidPanda 9
I'm not trying to be a complete bitch, but to call OPs boyfriend an idiot and a douche is a little much in my opinion..
MissAmz 7
I call him and idiot and a douche mainly because of the feelings I felt when associated with this kind of thing and my own personal experiences. He probably isn't really an idiot or a douche (obviously, because I don't know the person).
angelk12 6
Correct me if I'm wrong but I think your comment veered away from the actual FML and ended up being a comment about your bad relationship(s?) in the past.
yahoowizard 16
Fairly sure OP isn't getting abused, bruised, punched, or anything of that nature. Just a little turned off is all. Internet isn't really a place to vent about randomly now
ulis_fml 6
She should post an Fml about her PROBLEMS! After all that might make sense.
Ha1r1nY0S0up 15
If you don't shut up I'm going to get on your goat!
MigraineurOfLife 15
Apparently, he wasn't done exploring your holes.
Jac_d_ipper 10
I think that he was just being playful; OP, in no way that would amount to FYL unless he had first inserted that in yr ass...