Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
My package
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Overcome
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
The agony and the ecstasy
Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Thanks, Dad!
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
Dumb move
Today, my boyfriend and I ordered sex toys online and had them delivered to my dorm room. I put my parents' address for the billing information because I didn't want the bill sent to my dorm after I moved out. The toys were sent to my parents' house instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Busted
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Kinda cute
Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. - Mom and Dad." FML
Top comments
Cat_Daniels 6
OMG I would be like "I Guess mom isn't that impressed with u..."
djskidd 9
That sucks. Enjoy the vibrator though!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (154)
comedybreak 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
LOL. I so would want to see your dads reaction. FYL and YDI for being a dumbass.
BarDownDaily 12
Don't they come wrapped up? So he actually opened the package that was for you. Classless.
Astroman129 7
Well my parents do that. And assuming OP is young (she still lives in her parents' house), her parents can track credit/debit history. Mine do.
BarDownDaily 12
If OP is to young to have a debt card or PayPal, then they should not have a vibrator.
n_epic_fail 14
Just tell him it's the horn for the unicorn you're building... Unless it's one of those freaky realistic ******. Then your screwed.
coyfish 0
Well you're screwed figuratively since the ***** was taken away...
BarDownDaily 12
26- Where does it say it was taken away?
icecreamdriveby 5
you could have said it was a joke present for a friends birthday.. still awkward but a little better than them thinking you're going to use it.
Pentium_4 27
i think he'd like her getting a vibrator rather than getting knocked up lol
ShroomsOnAcid 17
16, I'd rather they have a vibrator than screw the whole neighborhood out of desperation.
BarDownDaily 12
I'd rather they have neither. (If we're assuming there that young, like 12 or 13)
MedKits 9
I'd rather people keep it in their pants.
jjluv456 11
I don't think I've ever seen 31 dislikes on one comment!
BostonBruinsFan 8
I agree with shrooms, and I'm a guy!!(saying as if I was her) And 103, btw, it's a "cum blaster" also!
Bobissmall 13
Really? I had 80 dislikes on one comment. I was quite proud of it actually, yet slightly annoyed as all I had done was give my opinion.
comedybreak 20
People just thumbs down because they didnt get the first comment
OG_Treezy 2
11, by your profile pic, I suggest the next thing you order online should be a toothbrush and some colgate.
mstangchck 9
130: By your profile pic, I suggest you get a life.
Incogneterpeter 1
Well your parents are breaking federal law opening your mail
Astroman129 7
Oh my gosh, 130. I'm so offended. Try saying something worth reading next time, and/or get a life. Make your decision wisely.
linkinpark98 24
You're almost there buddy...
BarDownDaily 12
140- Try brushing your teeth.
Rosebudteg 4
It is way better to manage it then to pretend they will "keep it in their pants".
djskidd 9
That sucks. Enjoy the vibrator though!
KeyboardWarrior 10
Trying to make me look stupid I see. Nice job removing the part where you screamed second, trying to make me look bad. :/
MrSassypants 34
Aww man I missed the editing wars. EDIT: Aww man I missed the editing wars.
leogirl95 12
Shoulda told him you ordered a book for school or something. It does come in a box, right?
MrSassypants 34
Nope. The mailmen and mailwomen (to be politicaly correct and shit) just grab it full on bare hands and pass it to each in a long line to OP's house playing an organized game of hot potato.
LookOnBrightSide 12
The box probably would have a logo and name for the merchandise. Assuming that OP's dad read it and that he looked inside to make sure it wasn't for him, then that plan would have completely failed.
kikidi 6
I don't think they would put the logo in the box, they're usually very discrete. Otherwise people wouldn't buy their products in fear of the mailman knowing they ordered a vibrator...
nava1210 12
It's not like it doesn't come in a package, and I doubt the company has an obvious name like "vibrators4u" labeled on the box. Only thing is I hope is that he respects your privacy by not opening your package.
Jakesterk96 8
Lol, what if the box was vibrating when he got it.
Ryan9295 3
I bet that was awkward
margie2194 12
Deny! Deny! Deny!
yomommma 6
She should tell him it's not hers.
FinnishAmerican 3
Lol it's not hers? It only comes in a package with her name and address on it. It's obvious it's hers!
gman90210 18
When the urge hits you just call and I'll be there
omarzrgz 3
Should has payed more for discrete! Did I spell that right?
mstangchck 9
No. The correct way would be have.
quite_bored 9
Just go home, 4.
omarzrgz 3
Grammar Nazis t-__-t ever heard of autocorrect?
ElementalDragon 2
... and "paid"
omarzrgz 3
You must be their lieutenant t-__-t
ambamm135 7
Lol 4 you asked, therefor we tell. Also, there is more than just spelling errors wrong with your comment.
julz0125 5
Don't ask if it correct if you don't want to be corrected.
FUUUandyourmom 16
You're also using the wrong word. It's discreet in this context, not discrete.
blondbrunette916 0
and it should have been paid. "Payed" is a nautical term having to do with a seal of a boat to prevent leakage.
noncomposmentis 6
"Should have paid more for discretion."
emmaa3451 11
Or for more discretion
Ninjasaurus18 9
*paid *descreet
yscpunkchick 14
Are there no adult boutiques where you live? It seems that if you had simply gotten your ass off of the computer and gone to the store, you wouldn't be in this prediciment.
StalinsHeir 1
Unless she's under age.
davidbdb485 0
#29 there's no law saying you can't buy sex toys or condoms if you're under 18, in the US anyway. Although she might not of been able to physically get herself to the store on her own....
zombiegold 23
#73 By that logic, you would have 14 yr olds running around with ****** in their bookbags.
davidbdb485 0
#90 I never said it was right for her to be doing that. I was only saying it was legal because #29 implied it wasn't. Don't put words in my mouth.
xStaciexLynnx 15
73- I don't know about where you live but any sex shops near my home you're not allowed to be in them unless you're over 18. There are even signs up on the doors that you may not enter the store, let alone buy anything.
dreamer9614 3
Me too. And it actually IS illegal for you to buy sex toys if you're under 18.
davidbdb485 0
#101 I'm just saying there is no law that says you have to be 18 and up to buy vibrators; it's legal. And certain stores like Spencer's allow minors.
BostonBruinsFan 8
No, #136, my gf was arrested for trying to get one, she's 13 and her mother was with her!(she didnt want her to get knocked up)
tracker7 5
Why was a 13 year old getting one anyways!
twisted_cherub 14
In any state in the U.S. you must be at least 18 yrs of age to purchase pornographic material, including vibrators, ******, blow-up dolls, sex swings, etc. The only sex-related items underage people may purchase are lube, condoms, vibrating "pleasure rings", pregnancy tests, anything you could find at Wal-Mart or over-the-counter at the local pharmacy.
Ronnie_loves_you 11
I don't see the big deal about people underage having vibrators. Unless they're like 13. But like 16 and 17 year olds? I'd rather have them have vibrators than having sex.
sarahbear430 0
You can't go into sex shops if you're under the age of 18, though. The one in my town cards everybody who looks under 30. I get carded more consistently there than I do buying liquor!
Cat_Daniels 6
OMG I would be like "I Guess mom isn't that impressed with u..."
SaMmIMonster96 6
That is so something I would do!!
inomnomdinosaurs 4
Great idea ;)
LadiDi_fml 10
And then add "I'll keep it and we won't tell her..." ?
Rddvl 11
Tell him your getting it for a friend.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
You're*
MsMindblowing 0
shutup already . Always correcting people and what not. lighten up:)
LookOnBrightSide 12
8- You can only do that with marijuana and/or cocaine. Otherwise, it doesn't work.
borkchop1992 15
Back to using your brother's electric toothbrush
HSOMGF 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why do you live with your dad? If you're old enough for a vibrator, you're old enough for an apartment. YDI.
Talia_91 13
No she bought it online she doesn't have to be 18 for that op could of lied on the site. And even then not many 18 year olds have enough money to live on their own it isn't cheap.
grudger 14
LOL, that is all
jjluv456 11
Dude! Love your comment to the comment! Your boss.