Today, I was so zoned-out, I shouted a hello to the chair in the staff room. It's the third time today I've mistaken an inanimate object for a person. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I'd said hello to her as I came in the door. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when I saw someone I thought I knew. I waved enthusiastically and shouted, "Hey!" The person stared blankly at me, so I quickly turned it into a wave at someone else behind them. There was no one behind them. I was just waving and yelling into the void like an idiot. FML
Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML
Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML
Today, I got told off at work for not saying hello to someone in the corridor.. FML
Today, after a boozy lunch, I drunkenly waved at what I thought was my reflection in a shop window. The person inside waved back. I laughed and kept walking. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd spent the entire interaction waving at someone standing in a café. FML
Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML
Today, I tried to look productive in a meeting by nodding along, only to realize too late that I was actually nodding off. When my head dropped forward, it made a loud thud on my desk, and everyone stopped talking at once. FML
Today, I walked into an office at work, ready to ask everyone a question. I then blanked and forgot why I was there the second everyone turned to look at me. I just stood there, nodded, and walked out. FML
Today, I joined a video meeting 5 minutes early and spent the time quietly complaining about one of my coworkers to my friend. When the meeting started, I realized my microphone had been on the entire time. Said coworker was the first person to say hello. FML
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Top comments
alycion 39
I want what you are having.
RichardPencil 32
Just don’t say, “Nice cushions! I could put my butt all over them!” That might be sexual harassment.
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Comments (8)
wmayrhofer 18
Chairs have feelings too!
alycion 39
I want what you are having.
RichardPencil 32
Just don’t say, “Nice cushions! I could put my butt all over them!” That might be sexual harassment.
Gradask 10
Go to doctor, this how my friends epilepsy started, zoned out and started talking to doors, chairs and bikes.
maikeru1979 23
as an Epileptic myself...I TOTALLY AGREE with the seeing a doctor. You very well may be having absence seizures and visual hallucinations. Even if your regular doctor does not find "anything wrong" still ask to be referred to a neurologist
sallygee 9
what the hell is wrong with you?
julianamariex3 15
That only happens to me when I have marijuana in my system. A lot of it. 🤔