Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I lied at a store when the checkout person told me the cologne I was buying was for men. I told him it was for my boyfriend. I haven't had a boyfriend in 2 years, I just wanted it to smell like one. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML
Today, I wore a new perfume to a first date in park. Halfway through, he kept sniffing the air and asked, “Do you smell onions?” Turns out the perfume reacted badly with my skin chemistry, making me smell like a taco stand. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she bought the same perfume that my boyfriend got me for Christmas last year. He loves that perfume. Now, whenever he smells me, he's going to think of his mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my best friend smelled the other night and how I should wear some perfume that smelled like that. I have the same exact perfume and have been wearing it for months. FML
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
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Top comments
Skinwalker131 5
And the problem with bacon scented perfume is??
jwbfml 11
Should've just bought bacon and saved $80.
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Comments (189)
Skinwalker131 5
And the problem with bacon scented perfume is??
atitud3 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I thumbed your comment up. Wonder why no one has done it before me..
Boygenius50 8
That's what I thought as well. Bacon-scented perfume probably smells better than regular perfume.
nativegirl13 3
Hopefully no animals start attacking OP if she changes her mind.
norotors 16
Well OPs boyfriend might get hungry and ask her to cook in the middle of sex. Would make another good fml.
Darkmagic666 9
Bacon scented perfume....that sounds awesome
mikeofthunder 13
I love the smell of bacon, but I can't imagine many women wanting to smell like it.. I wouldn't want to smell like it! That's a scent for the kitchen :P
monikersager 0
Maybe OP doesn't like bacon? I (sadly) know who people that don't.
enormouselephant 15
36- if that's a scent for the kitchen, wouldn't she be okay to wear it all the time?
RedPillSucks 33
The problem, of course, is she's vegan, and she works for PETA. She's going to get the crap beat out of her by two groups, but her boyfriend will suddently become much more attracted to her. I hope she can deal with the nibbling, erm ..., niggling doubts
Justin0481 5
70.. My thoughts exactly
illegallyblonde 3
because you post stupid comments like this...
Purplefluff 6
Where did op get this?! I want some
bobeattaco 5
People who*
MDTeddy 13
How do you not know what bacon smells like? If you knew then buying bacon perfume would have been prevented. Nothing is wrong with bacon, but it might attract bugs and insects or animals like dogs and cats.
headmaster556 4
Her boyfriend will be happy now and convinced that she never really did leave the kitchen
worlds123dumbest 4
70... I love this sexist comment!!!!!!!!!! Made me laugh (:
Thursday737 7
29, i think i am the only one here on FML That understands your pic and name.
RedPillSucks 33
That's a picture of the old wankel rotory engine, right? Since they've stopped making them, I guess his profile name has come true
Futacy 30
What guy doesn't love the smell of bacon???
lyssgross 16
For the guys out there like you, I hope you find a girl like me, I make my boyfriend cook of he doesn't get sex.
Boygenius50 8
148-Perdix > DocB
katiedoll6 7
So true
Harpy20 24
126 I think you called in a cat.
mynameisali 0
In anatomy I learned that men are attracted to the smell of bacon and women are attracted to the smell of chocolate chip cookies. So I don't know if your boyfriend was implying that it smelt bad or not, but it might be in your benefit to keep it :)
zandalee 20
Relax. It's ok. It smells like bacon. Is a win win situation!!
Pandacupcakelove 26
Words to live by.
icrest80 4
I would definatly pay 83 $ for bacon scened cologne. The ladies would be all over me like the axe chocolate commercials
hama806 19
Did you think about smelling it on yourself before buying it?
hama806 19
Edit- everyones body chemicals react differently
soccergurrll 8
Well, what's wrong with smelling like bacon??
Feared 9
Dogs... Dogs everywhere.
gc327072 31
That's why I always say F BITCHES GET BACON!
Khfan12 13
Exactly :) Bacon smell is best smell.
jwbfml 11
Should've just bought bacon and saved $80.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Unless a fat bitch pushes you away and takes it all.
IAmJad 18
40, that just defined unfunny...
Hockeyboy4280 18
42, actually it's a reference to a past FML about Wal mart, and how a large lady pushed OP out of the way to grab all the bacon because it was on sale.
Boygenius50 8
32-I love your Bio. Enclave 5evir
whyusofat 17
Bath in bacon ~.~ me squigglysta
IAmJad 18
Ohhh my apologies squeaky.
Longshott 4
Yes, I dunno where you live, but here that would only be saving about 75$. Oh well, still cheaper.
TheLoneWandererX 2
What if she lives in the Wasteland and doesn't have $80?
EvilPotato 15
I don't know about anyone else but if my wife / girlfriend smelled like bacon that would turn me on so much!
afallingstar 22
Maybe op's boyfriend is vegan?
Feared 9
Wow. Remind me not to sit on your lap next time we have bacon and eggs.
RedPillSucks 33
The new definition of "porking the pig" Not that you're a pig... Ow!! Ow!!! I didn't mean it like that!!!
salamq 6
so you're married and have a girlfriend? :p .. ok chill out I'm kidding!
FlyingPie 17
You don't know if she's your wife or your girlfriend? :P
Sandsh8rk 36
Don't panic OP, that's the best possible outcome! Boys love bacon-scented perfume.
MyNameIsViet 15
Be careful he won't eat you as well. Us boys like the smell but the taste is even better!
msCherry973 2
What is OP
mb2_native 15
op just means original poster
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Origami penis
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Oddly Proper.
Turtle_rebellion 10
Obtuse polygons
SneakyCaveman 13
Overused Puns.
dav3800 7
Bacon smells, tastes and looks like utter shit. Just say "most boys" next time.
mrwipes 0
Unless there Muslim or Jewish.
FML12197 0
Yes.
iRoc46n2 4
Keep it, he should be happy for a long time.
courtz94 24
If he doesn't like it do what, it's your opinion that matters not his. But sorry op, that does suck.
Jaxx66 21
As I do agree OP (or anyone in a relationship, for that matter) does have an opinion, and it should be valued. But in a relationship, if you have a perfume/cologne that your other half dislikes, then why would you go around wearing it, if it acts as some sort of repellant? Granted, bacon is a very delicious flavor/smell. But not on a human, it's better in a pan or on a plate. (or in a house, with a mouse....?)
RedPillSucks 33
I really like when perfume smells like bacon. I really like sex, when she's not fakin.... *runs from the barrage of rotten tomatoes*
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Guys like bacon... Hell, everybody likes bacon. I say that's a good use of $83 :P
mikeofthunder 13
Vegetarian's don't like bacon :(
3yellowzebras 19
But they love the smell of it, win win
ChrisTheCalm 9
Who told you that? Some vegetarians find meat very putrid, so why would they enjoy the smell?
sydstoomuch 19
I don't like bacon
bReLiNg 18
Solution: If you want a guy who loves your bacon scent- walk through a logging camp early in the morning. The guys will follow you around drooling. Now you have a man who love your bacon scent- good luck :)