Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt drunkenly confessed that she had once dated my dad in high school. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke. I didn’t laugh. I just stared at her for 10 minutes, processing how our family tree had now become a circle. FML
Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, my dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "Mom." I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me "something nice." FML
Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers asked if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, I accidentally called my kickboxing trainer "Dad." I'm 27. FML
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Top comments
utefan27 0
haha you just got burned by your dad
TXjuggalo972 6
don't worry op I actually kind of like flat chested women idk why actually I could care less
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Comments (172)
crimson_alize 2
what business does ur dad hav noticing these things? fyl cuz of ur pancake chest and petifile father;)
RMC000 7
Your dad's a bit of a prick it would seem, but don't worry about the other bit -- more than a handful's wasted anyway. ;)
Jose124 0
Yea I also have mosquito bite boobs
Jose124 0
Yea I also have bite size boobs
blondeandhot 0
Why is your dad checking out your boobs??
Honda288 2
Your dad wins! But like a lot of other guys, I preference smaller boobs. It's really nothing to be ashamed of. P.S boob jobs are for Hollywood ******, be happy with what ya got.
Sexkitten3345 0
it's ok Hun my used to do the same thing I have a size c cup cheast and he did it then some next time your dad says that kick that bastard in the nuts
coleyPOP 0
Don't worry, OP. Women often go through breast growth spurts by the time they are in their mid twenties. you still have time :)
varkey 7
lol wtf... your dad said that?? that's kinda wrong also, i prefer smaller boobs, as do many other guys... so be happy
Ciindddy 0
Hahaha that kinda suck I'm a d cup I would hate to have small boobs damn yeah get a boob job sorry lol, your dads funny btw lmfao!