Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML
Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML
Today, I got a letter from my mother-in-law stating that demons made her spread rumors about me all over my hometown before my wedding. FML
Today, my mom gave me the litany of a lifetime for raising a devil child. Why so? She and my daughter who is 7 years-old attended mass, and after the priest told the parable of The Prodigal Son, she raised her hand. The priest approached, asked and put the mic on her, and she said, "Sorry Father, but that story sucks! Its all about favoritism!" FML
Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML
Today, I found out that my mom paints, and that I was artistically represented in a painting, as Satan, in a painting made shortly after I told her that I was an atheist. FML
Today, according to my mother, who is only 19 years older than me and raised me by herself, I was conceived in a satanic ritual to honour the Horned God and have at least 4 potential fathers. She was too stoned to remember the actual number or their names. FML
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
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Top comments
Christina Winden 22
Sounds like the grandmother was the one with the disorder, not the baby
RichardPencil 32
Did it work? If not, DM me ;) 👺
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
Did it work? If not, DM me ;) 👺
Kelsie Lynn Christensen 13
Honestly it could be an undiagnosed disorder if you misbehaved that severely. Unless she just means by like looks or something. But if it was your behavior I’d look into that.
Christina Winden 22
Sounds like the grandmother was the one with the disorder, not the baby
IHaveThePower 18
No, babies are just Like That. They scream, they wail, they make messes, they misbehave as they become toddlers, they're walking agents of Chaos. If you can't handle that, you shouldn't have kids.
Gigi Hill 6
Give em hell!
John Raymond Matheney 6
that's epic!! I would wear like a badge of honor forever!!
BurnInDemonFire 39
"I did not have sexual relations with the Devil." - Your mom.
crazy_joe 15
Ah, Grandparents love is always so underrated.
J15237 25
I am sorry, but that is actually a bit hilarious. I mean every part at some point believes their child is the spawn of the devil. Your grandmother just took it over board, but not really an FML. Just a hilarious thing to laugh about now.