Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling, "Who's your daddy?" at his plate of barbecued meat, and my mom just sat there with that, "What the hell happened to my life?" look on her face. FML
Today, my dad was drunk and angry, so I went to the neighbor's since I didn't know what to do. He was so nice and comforted me as I cried. Then his wife came home, called him a pedophile, beat me, and threw me out. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because, "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML
Today, my family yelled at me for being a "selfish disappointment." My crime? Not being able to help my sister's boyfriend do his homework while I'm working on my class finals. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mattfail 0
Wow.... Your dad must suck
Nonamerequired 0
I think he's more likely to mess up the names than the faces.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (80)
Mattfail 0
Wow.... Your dad must suck
Lolbrittany 0
no, SHE sucks. obviously she's not a very good daughter in comparison to her sister otherwise he wouldn't have said all that. >:U
StingMunFizzy 0
I'm calling it fake.. I've seen the exact same thing posted a couple months ago.. FAKE!!!!
nazooer 11
I know huh, because this kind of thing can only happen to one person right?
GmanG 0
Maybe, because you cleaned after him and stuff - he mixed you 2 up and thought it was you sis... Plus he was drunk... P.S.******* looool at #25 "i'd says HE is a pretty good daughter"
raNDMGUy 5
maybe just because he was drunk he thought that the daughter helping him wasnt vanessa so he said that vanessa was useless
maybeline412 0
lol.i called my dad da other day n he replied wit "wat da hell do u want?" then went on wit im sorry i thought it was ur sis mabel.i am mabel.n he was sober.ur not alone :)
cherrypieguy 0
I'm new to trolling so imma try it. YDI FOR BEING VENESSA
juicyjay00 0
ehhh. honestly, he's the one thats a parent and drunk in the middle of the night. i'd say **** what he says, he's the useless one. not you. you were up for a good cause, studying. and you cleaned after him? i would have thrown a fit if my dad said that.
trollskitroll 0
You obviously deserve it with a name like Vanessa... ah duh
cherrypieguy 0
YDI for being VENESSA! The nerve of some people.
myz986 0
thats exactly what i thought.
ihateproactive 0
aw ):
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
Wow, your dad must have been really drunk not to realize that you're Vanessa. Your Dad is kind of a jerk for saying that though...
Uvula 0
Vannesa IS useless, you could be helping your father with something right now but you decided to spend it on FML to make you feel better about yourself.
Darkblade21 20
nobody likes u
gennyv 29
She already helped him get up and clean his mess, which she probably didn't have to. And what were you doing? Commenting on FML
xtraonionsnomayo 0
Drunks say the darndest things.
byob_fml 0
.. atleast now you know what he thinks of you?
Nonamerequired 0
I think he's more likely to mess up the names than the faces.
codaic1549 0
HE WAS DRUNK!!! HE MIXED YOU UP, Oh MY GOSH!! DRUNKNESS= PERSON WHO DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING!!
Polionixon 2
speak for yourself i proudly drank around 20 shots total and still remembered the whole night.
IndigoArkanian 4
wow lol
Arcterion 0
Stop being so useless.
AntiChrist7 0
YDI for carying about what a drunk person says