Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt drunkenly confessed that she had once dated my dad in high school. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke. I didn’t laugh. I just stared at her for 10 minutes, processing how our family tree had now become a circle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a family gathering and during a lull in the conversation I started to tell a joke to lighten the mood. Halfway through, I realized the joke was incredibly inappropriate. The room fell silent, and my grandma hasn’t looked at me the same since. FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, I found out that the man I called grandpa for 40 years is really my dad. My drunk aunt spilled the beans. Her exact words were, "My dad is a better dad to you than he EVER was to me! You never wondered why he treated you better than his other grandchildren? You're his son!" FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt asked me if I was seeing anyone special. In a tired and sarcastic tone, I jokingly said, “I’m actually getting married next month!” The room went silent, then some of them cheered. I had to explain I was kidding, but now they’re looking forward to a wedding I didn’t agree to. FML
Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML
Today, my dad admitted to dating and getting my stepdaughter pregnant, and they’re very happy. My wife is furious. Meanwhile, my brother pointed out it’s a real life version of the Willie Nelson song. Once the baby is born, our inbred family tree will result in me technically being my own grandad. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, my estranged, alcoholic father decided to tell me I have a sister. After 30 minutes of him describing how beautiful she is, how much we look alike, and how she has lived one town away from me her entire life, I was excited to the point of tears. Too bad she died a year ago. Thanks dad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Chazzster 32
You would know who your mother is. Don’t obsess over this. Yes it’s weird and embarrassing, but those things exist in life.
Nazmazh 18
This... this doesn't strike me as all that weird or bad. Your aunt and dad went on one date in high school [Or, perhaps on what you specifically mean by "once dated", they might have dated for a little while], decided that they didn't fit together and found new partners. It's not like your dad ditched your aunt specifically to hook up with your mom or anything, by the sounds of it. Sometimes people do find new partners within the groups of people they already know. And if your aunt and dad had a serious, long-term relationship, it certainly would be more likely that your mom wouldn't have dated him as well, to avoid potential awkwardness. But the fact that you didn't know about this until just now suggests to me that there's not like, any major family-friction about it, meaning that it wasn't a big deal, so probably not a case of dating a long-term ex's sibling.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
d j mom 9
okay drama queen.
Chazzster 32
You would know who your mother is. Don’t obsess over this. Yes it’s weird and embarrassing, but those things exist in life.
Wadlaen 24
Keep it in the family!
Nazmazh 18
This... this doesn't strike me as all that weird or bad. Your aunt and dad went on one date in high school [Or, perhaps on what you specifically mean by "once dated", they might have dated for a little while], decided that they didn't fit together and found new partners. It's not like your dad ditched your aunt specifically to hook up with your mom or anything, by the sounds of it. Sometimes people do find new partners within the groups of people they already know. And if your aunt and dad had a serious, long-term relationship, it certainly would be more likely that your mom wouldn't have dated him as well, to avoid potential awkwardness. But the fact that you didn't know about this until just now suggests to me that there's not like, any major family-friction about it, meaning that it wasn't a big deal, so probably not a case of dating a long-term ex's sibling.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Chillax
Lost Reggie 22
Perfectly normal. She dated your Dad but married your Uncle. This has zero effect on your family tree.
BurnInDemonFire 39
As long as your aunt isn't your dad's sister then it's fine.