Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt drunkenly confessed that she had once dated my dad in high school. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke. I didn’t laugh. I just stared at her for 10 minutes, processing how our family tree had now become a circle. FML
Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, my dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "Mom." I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me "something nice." FML
Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers asked if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, I accidentally called my kickboxing trainer "Dad." I'm 27. FML
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Top comments
utefan27 0
haha you just got burned by your dad
TXjuggalo972 6
don't worry op I actually kind of like flat chested women idk why actually I could care less
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Comments (172)
MyDogTastesBad 0
Big deal. Your hormones haven't kicked in.
unidentified_sta 5
She's 18... Anyhow, you got owned. Either deal with it or decide that people will still like you anyway and move on with life.
Technocidal 0
It's a joke. Stop being so sensitive. you could've responded by going "Or my dads crotch. Flat as the salt plains."
planbsponserme 2
I <3 boobies!
nebula748 14
Nice one 26.
yucayucatan 0
there are boundaries and your father ignored them. He is an ass hole.
starile 20
YOUR DAD IS A SICK ****, OP. What father would talk like that about their little girl's ****? A sick ****, that's who. *high fives the old man*
TrimKibbles 12
my girlfriend didn't get **** til she was about 22. she was just a late starter
flakes_fml 0
I'l go get you some ice...
STr8_CaLi_d0p3 4
76- How much did those **** cost?
LoveMySoldier82 0
I was a b cup after two pregnancies. An A cup in high school. Girls teased me about having small boobs, I'd say, "at least mine won't be around my knees at 40".
BluSkyNoise 0
beautiful
nason222 0
have you ever herd of a boob job?
utefan27 0
haha you just got burned by your dad
xxreneexx65 0
Thats depressing! haha
tri1sometime22 0
Totes depressing! Hopefully u grow some tho!!! :)
max_wilder 9
*Kelso* BURN!!
UniUni 20
Am I the only one who found this creepy
DishHeads 9
haha owned
Rawrzie 0
just stating the facts. did you want them to rant about how big your non- existent boobs are?
sabrinakay23 0
asshole
monkeybanana 7
sabrinakay (and some numbers) you're right this dude is
a563 3
"some numbers?" It's just 23!! What's wrong with you?!?!
TXjuggalo972 6
don't worry op I actually kind of like flat chested women idk why actually I could care less
thomasday 7
anything more than a handful just goes to waste
mercedes3210 6
^ is that really true?
mzeemzima 0
I think u mean u like men no guy would want girls with flat chests unless they can't get a girl with boobs but no one would reject a girl with big/nice boobs if they had a choice
farazjaved98 0
^ well it depends what u do with it... but I prefer not too big, but in the end it doesn't matter- it's their beauty that really does, like yours... :)
farazjaved98 0
btw, I was replying to Mercedes
Jizwold 0
I decided that I actually just like ass more :) also I'm fairly sure that more men prefer ass over *******
starile 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ok, commenter 6 is like 13 years old, he's probably scared of boobs, so certainly big ones would spook him.
ilikeemsmall 4
Yes it's true. Not everyone needs ones that will be hanging out the bottom of her shirt when she's 40.
TXjuggalo972 6
I never said I would reject big boobs way to read and also I'm 13 not 8 your underestimating my intellect just a little bit
freakinglaugher 10
#6 did I read it wrong, but didn't they say you were 13? I didn't see a "8" within any of the comments. Now I find it ironic that you said not to insult your intelligence. lol troll face!
chili10 18
69, I'm an a cup (not flat, just small) and my boyfriend thinks I got the right size. not every guy wants big boobs.
macskapingvin 0
Anything bigger than C is just blegh for me. Tastes vary, but I've never found big breasts to be appealing. They just don't look right.
TXjuggalo972 6
ok I'll put to you this way 102 what im saying is that they should not just say oh he's ONLY 13 like I'm some kind of dumb ****
youngmoney14 0
no you should still feel like shit for having small ****
vyzhyn 0
^it's people like you that need to contract a flesh-eating virus and die! all women deserve to feel beautiful, you dumb frat-****!
roflrawrlol 0
13 year olds shouldn't be reading this! :o how much intellect do you really have? hell, when I was 13 I was dumb as a post...
manatees_r_epic 0
147- Not to brag, but I'm 13 and I know how many chromosones a mule has. So not every 13 year old is dumb.
AwkwardNinja22 5
I wasn't aware mules had chromosones. Please, elaborate more.
monstaber 6
61 I disagree completely. I like flat chested women because 1) boobs are boobs and 2) there are a LOT more things to look for in a woman than the size of her ****. Love > infatuation. (I'm 15, just so you all know.)
riax 9
Whether he prefers flat, small or big boobs, a good man will prefer to be with the girl even more, and make her feel beautiful no matter what, because that's what she is to him
tiggerz 6
Marry me
gooBUZZ 0
That's just wrong for your dad to say? But still, it was a joke, it's the end of the year, lighten up, princess.
jazziness 12
damn!!!!! u need a leash cuz u just got dogged lol jk I wasnt serious
Skycop_S 23
English.
alicianoar 7
Get a boob job?
alicianoar 7
True.... get a padded bra?
anorexicbarbie 8
Thailand breat slap!! I hate the comment bug.
anorexicbarbie 8
breast*
smerry 3
BOOBIESSSSSS!!!!!!!
lzenon 0
ha, when I read it, I looked at your pic too so it looked like I <3 Booooooobies
Javalounge 0
*lack of
Cass3m0 0
It's humor, OP. Get some.
starile 20
It's boobs, OP. Get some.
brootalxkeni 0
70 that comment was a WIN!