Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
Close knit
Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt drunkenly confessed that she had once dated my dad in high school. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke. I didn’t laugh. I just stared at her for 10 minutes, processing how our family tree had now become a circle. FML
Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Patronising
Today, my dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "Mom." I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me "something nice." FML
Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers asked if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Power move
Today, I accidentally called my kickboxing trainer "Dad." I'm 27. FML
Top comments
utefan27 0
haha you just got burned by your dad
TXjuggalo972 6
don't worry op I actually kind of like flat chested women idk why actually I could care less
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Comments (172)
TropicalTulipz 0
dad: 1 samantha: none hahaha
lolol_BKYCHO 3
I don't mind having a smaller chest. If I suddenly crapped out the money for an augmentation, I wouldn't do it because it would look awkward with my body type if I had huge cans. Also, why would I change that? I don't hate on guys for having small weiners, those small weinered guys shouldn't hate
lolol_BKYCHO 3
Damn it cut off my rant. Small chests are an evolutionary advantage. Nobody stares, I don't knock stuff over, I never get "dress-coded" and I don't get back problems from them. Big boobs look nasty after the age of 35 anyway, while the a's and b's will stand the test of time c:
RavenBurga 0
fgsfds
russianspy1234 11
Sense of humor is far more important than a big chest, too bad you don't have either.
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Her dad should not discuss her boobs, period. At 18 they won't likely grow without either pregnancy or surgery. If her Dad is SO concerned he needs to cough up the $$ if she wants enhancement even to just a C cup. Big Fakes won't fall like Big Real ones
Choconumm 8
I wonder what your dad looks at in his free time....
mercedes3210 6
You were talking about breasts.
pedroiaman15 0
youve got a helluva dad! :)
strawberrydreams 18
Ouch FYL seriously. Your dad is just an asshole who shouldn't even be talking about your boob size in the first place. Then again there's no need to make a scene about. At least you won't have to worry about having saggy boobs at your age. There are some guys who like the small ones!