Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt drunkenly confessed that she had once dated my dad in high school. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke. I didn’t laugh. I just stared at her for 10 minutes, processing how our family tree had now become a circle. FML
Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, my dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "Mom." I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me "something nice." FML
Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers asked if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, I accidentally called my kickboxing trainer "Dad." I'm 27. FML
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Top comments
utefan27 0
haha you just got burned by your dad
TXjuggalo972 6
don't worry op I actually kind of like flat chested women idk why actually I could care less
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Comments (172)
Daniela94 0
ahahahh!tough
Maravilla4 1
Hahahaha.... It's okay I like small boobs
persimmon 0
um that's a sleazy, dirty thing to say. fyl for having such a dipshit of a dad
budge10 0
y r parents bitches?
travis1980___ 0
Flat chests are kinda hot.
sammijo2011 0
Haha My name is Samantha and Im 18 My dad makes the same jokes. All in fun though.
jacksav4036 0
HOT!!!
lizzie96 2
i totally agree! i'm not quite 18, but almost and my family makes fun of me all of the time. i definitely sympathize with you there sister
Knock_Out 0
You men who think this FML deserves a YDI are idiots. Girls should be respected just as well as we men are. Would you like it if someone commented saying you deserve it for being born with a small penis? Ya, you wouldn't like that. Shut up, suck it up, and live with it. We are ALL created EQUAL on this planet. NOTE: I am a guy speaking from my not at all shallow or perverted perspective. I don't care about boobs or butts, I only really care about the personality of women.
Yourhonor 0
Was he joking?
Knock_Out 0
As far as I know, the father was not joking at all. What a jerk, right?