Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, my mum found out she's pregnant. I would be happy for her, if she knew who the father was. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
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Top comments
mexican_music 13
How the **** is that out of instinct?
cadillacgal79 32
I worry for you that you ask that outta instinct
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Comments (54)
cadillacgal79 32
I worry for you that you ask that outta instinct
drayloon 50
OP probably means out of habit
brand125 17
52 - thats still just as bad, if not the same thing.
chottu 16
That was my first thought too. Why would this be anyone's first instinct (or habit)???
juturnaamo 29
Instinct? If you have to ask that question it's probably not appropriate.
usmc_sean 8
Ways to ruin a happy marriage 101
CitricAcid 21
That must have been so awkward... Don't worry OP, just explain that what you said was a mistake and hopefully your aunt will forgive you and this incident will be forgotten. Best of luck to you
nonsensical 26
i think if she apologizes for the mistake it would make it more awkward... play it off! say it was a joke! "so who's the father?...HA IM KIDDING, congratulations!!"
mexican_music 13
How the **** is that out of instinct?
teentee401 37
Unless the aunt is constantly getting pregnant by random people, then I have no idea.
lexa1love 16
Maybe the OP has a lot of friends having children out of wedlock. That's something I have had to ask a few of my friends.
ZombieSazza 34
Maybe OP has friends who have children by one night stands, or are single. I come from a small Scottish fishing town and teen pregnancies/young mothers are sadly common, so when someone I know gets pregnant its a question I ask.
eski2015 22
Exactly this person is dumb ^^^ not you 42 but #5
mexican_music 13
Tis just a question
theperfectchild 13
Can you picture the faces of OPs family when she said that? Oops.
keiNan_fml 35
Basic instinct?
Liyuesigs 8
So who is the father?
connorgrant98 24
Who do you think?
expertsmilee 26
Christopher Walken?
sweetnsourrr 11
Obviously its Chris Brown.
drunk_crow 12
Mohamed Lee
ShowMeKay 20
Haha #33 I got that Big Bang Theory reference. The world's most common first name and last name.
Dabeli_fml 16
James Brolin
PixelSword24 15
Benedict Cumberbatch
Cassandra2015 21
Out of instinct .. the only thing out of instinct should have been congratulations !
1DisGR8 32
Do you know a lot of pregnant girls that don't have partners?
JocelynKaulitz 28
More like does op know a lot of pregnant girls with multiple partners…