Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt drunkenly confessed that she had once dated my dad in high school. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke. I didn’t laugh. I just stared at her for 10 minutes, processing how our family tree had now become a circle. FML
Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, my dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "Mom." I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me "something nice." FML
Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers asked if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, I accidentally called my kickboxing trainer "Dad." I'm 27. FML
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Top comments
utefan27 0
haha you just got burned by your dad
TXjuggalo972 6
don't worry op I actually kind of like flat chested women idk why actually I could care less
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Comments (172)
sk3l370n 0
make a joke about his manboobs
JaymeH 0
who cares, some guys like that. the size of the ******* does not make the person, besides its new years, probably a joke.
Zayna_604 0
flat is the new D cup
maxhashbrown23 0
mmm u smmeexxxy
corkscrew8888 0
win :)
xXFllnXangelXx 0
Who cares about looks or the size of your breasts none of that Matters. But your father is a douche bag just tell him to **** off
hideyoself 4
what a douchebag! you should've just burned him back by making a small dick insult
tweetbaby14 18
when a child talks about the size of their father's penis, you know something isn't right... even if it's just to get back at them.
mtnairtom 0
More than a mouthful is a waste ;-)
wriptidez 0
inappropriate
vanillatwilight6 0
just get a boob job calm down its not the end of the world if u hav a flat chest
i_lurve_you 2
is that even true?????????
thamavrikx7 0
some ppl like smaller boobs<