Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt drunkenly confessed that she had once dated my dad in high school. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke. I didn’t laugh. I just stared at her for 10 minutes, processing how our family tree had now become a circle. FML
Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, my dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "Mom." I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me "something nice." FML
Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers asked if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, I accidentally called my kickboxing trainer "Dad." I'm 27. FML
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Top comments
utefan27 0
haha you just got burned by your dad
TXjuggalo972 6
don't worry op I actually kind of like flat chested women idk why actually I could care less
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Comments (172)
hunturkey 0
you should have made fun of the fact that his boobs are bigger than yours haha
singhjr1 3
Win*
singhjr1 3
i actually had bigger pecks than my gf's boobies till about a week ago. we're both 19 so don't worry OP. There's still time.
GavinRoskamp 0
He got a moob reduction, duh.
xXxUNiQU3xXx 0
^ Win
sonshadsil94 15
Your dad shouldnt even be talking about your chest in the first place. But that aside, your chest has nothing to do with your face or personality. And flat chested women are sexier anyway.
CassZo 0
embrace it I'm the A cup among 5 sisters who are C's and up including the younger two. I live my nonexistent boobs! just be positive because yours will stay up in place!
starile 20
FYL
lovemylifejustre 0
feel your pain I'm completely flat and my parents, friends, boy friends, and even people I don't talk to dog me out about it. --I'm 15 and still can hardly fit into kid bras--FMl
Angi95 3
Girls with big boobs get picked on just as much all middle school and some of high school I was Victoria secret booby girl DD and a whole bunch of awful names. Plus some guys just treat you worse because of it because they only want one thing. Oh half my freshman year I was called motor boat. It's like unless your a C you get picked on.
el_chicharito_14 0
your dad equals win
btnhdude 0
I bet you want your dads heart to beat a flatline now. why, thats... redundant. oh well.
nomnom_muffins 0
Your dad is an asshole. I know what it is like being flat chested in such a judgemental world....it sucks. When someone's insecurity is blatantly thrown out in public for the sake of comedy, it is tough to handle. So for anyone who thinks she just "needs a sense of humor", **** you.
anorexicbarbie 8
Let's play the game of chill the **** out, you're our first contestant.
nomnom_muffins 0
45, Let's play the game of telling shitty jokes for a comeback. Whoops, looks like we already have a winner.
singhjr1 3
OP don't worry about it. till about a month ago my pecks were bigger than my gf's boobies. we're both 19 so don't worry, there's still time.
headbanger123 0
slightly funny
Luv_Meh_Beeotch 0
lawlz! yu dads hella funny!