Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Small town
Today, I took a date to a new restaurant I’d never been to before. Wish I had been because it turns out two of my ex-girlfriends work there as waitresses. Luckily they were amicable break-ups, but it was still hella awkward every time they brought stuff to the table. FML
Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML
Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML
Today, I agreed to meet my ex-girlfriend at our favorite restaurant with my hopes high. She just wanted me to meet her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML
Today, I was working my shift at the restaurant as a waiter when the girl I've been in love with for 4 years came in with her boyfriend. He asked me to hide the ring in their dessert. FML
Self own + Karma
Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML
Drama!
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
Top comments
mectain 13
I'm really truly sorry for that. that's just cold.
Daxwax 8
You should have done it. She totally deserve it!
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Comments (244)
mectain 13
I'm really truly sorry for that. that's just cold.
Just_A_Tree 20
You should have played the song "Cold Hearted Bitch" by Jet, and told her, that it was picked specially for her.
Just_A_Tree 20
*Cold Hard Bitch I screwed up... But still a good song, that seems like it was wrote for her.
Just_A_Tree 20
What happened to my earlier comment?
Vagitarian1 10
Do me a solid. Don't shed anymore tears for that flaming bitch.
JMichael 26
That is truly cold. I'm sorry to hear about this OP. At least you now have the chance to find someone better.
ChristianH39 30
Now I'm an atheist, but I'd still like to believe there's a special hell for someone like that.
GentlemanBastard 15
#88 the fact that you are an atheist named Christian is deliciously ironic.
False_Stupidity 42
Cold? she's fricken frozen! You need to get on with your work OP and let it go.
Kn0wledge123 21
Wow. That is ****** up man. I know it hurts but don't shed anymore years for such a heartless piece of shit
ChristianH39 30
97, isn't it though? I wonder if my parents somehow knew...
nmrat 10
@140... Let her go... Let her go!
ChevyRedneck85 13
I'd put some special sauce on her food if ya know what I mean...giggity
meeeeep7 6
Seriously, you could put her in a box and use it as a refrigerator. Or put her outside and reverse global warming.
Daxwax 8
You should have done it. She totally deserve it!
chinaski7628 32
Nope. She'd deserve it, but she's not worth potentially losing your job or your reputation over, were you to get caught.
delude 26
I agree that she isn't worth losing your job to. Anyways, she deserves a lot worse than just spit
cryssycakesx3 23
what good would it do though? I'm sure they've kissed before so I'm sure she's had his spit before and the new boyfriend got it by proxy. I never understood spitting in food. what's the gratification in it? it doesn't do anything to them, it's not like they even know...
z3r0d4z3 22
True 149 but It would be more of a power play. The last "**** you" would be satisfying in the bullshit game she was playing.
uglyheadedbitch 20
What a ****.
RabbitOfAurora 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Can we not **** shame please. What she did was cruddy and makes her a heartless bitch, but not a ****.
uglyheadedbitch 20
My fault
cjwayy 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I agree with #11. **** shaming is wrong.
pilusepi 10
No. She's a ****.
KittyLahv 27
Pretty sure she was currently dating two people at once when she walked in to the restaurant. If that isn't the definition of a ****, I don't know what is.
mattjamt 16
How does it not make her a ****? Two boyfriends at one time... slutttttt
KitchKraft 21
Are you really trying to defend *****? Sounds to me like we've got a couple of ***** in the comments section...
lat1404 16
'**** shaming' is calling a girl a **** if she hooks up with a lot of guys (or girls). The reason it is wrong is because no one else has the right to call someone a **** based on how much sex etc they have as it is their own decision. Shaming someone for having 2 boyfriends at the same time is fine. It is also pretty much the definition of '****'.
uglyheadedbitch 20
To everyone besides 11... CORRECT
igive 29
She's a hoe. There, is that better?
R3TROxLOV3 32
11, she's definitely a ****. Cheating on your significant is a textbook example of slutty behavior. Breaking up with him like that makes her a bitch. Sometimes the word **** is appropriate to describe someone, and this is one of those occasions.
Dean_N 15
Actually #71, she's a stupid hoe
GentlemanBastard 15
Stupid hoe, silly ****, dumb bitch, awful excuse for a human being. I think they all apply
Axel5238 29
This applies to both males and females and everything in between. Being sexually promiscuous is not healthy and not something to find pride in. You have every right to engage your own body in self destructive behavior but its not my duty to affirm you in that.
lulinator 40
#71. Can we stop shaming poor innocent garden tools? They can't even defend themselves.
brittbritt1388 10
Should have passed on her table or just not gone back I've done that to rude people I just don't go back until they leave lol
Just_A_Tree 20
If she's a true cold bitch, then she won't lose any sleep over getting him in trouble for not doing his job. And if the OP was caught spitting in her food, that's even more trouble. OP could always resort to calling her out in front of everybody.
angeluv_2014 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for not standing up for yourself, man. You should've publicly shamed that bitch!
Gittoh 21
um he was working. I think his boss and coworkers and the other costumers appreciate that he died silently instead.
angeluv_2014 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
On the contrary, I bet they all would've enjoyed the show. Who doesn't like a public bitch shaming?
cjwayy 22
Yeah, if I did that while I was working I would probably get fired or at least a stern lecture from my boss.
angeluv_2014 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah, I guess groveling for shitty tips and less than minimum wage is the way to live life...
Lil_Red777 21
Clearly you don't have bills to pay, you have to do what you have to do. So yeah his “shitty" tips are how he survives.
dragonrider1959 18
He was trying to be a good guy and not make a scene
smokecloud_ 37
I average $20 an hour in tips waiting tables, and love what I do. Bitch.
angeluv_2014 22
Ah you love being a waitress... Good for you! I'm sure the grand majority of people in the service industry would love to hear it!
ChristianH39 30
Nothing wrong with loving what you do, whatever it might be. It's a better attitude to have than putting others down for what they do.
PokemonLove993 17
waitresses make amazing money in most places, that's why we put up with the rude, cold hearted people that don't appreciate us. It's not my dream job but it's definitely a good one. why don't you try working in a restaurant for once before complaining about our jobs.
angeluv_2014 22
I never complained about anyone's job... I just wasn't aware that service industry (waiting tables especially) was such a stimulating and rewarding work environment. The stigma that surrounds it is undeniably negative and any experience I've had with it, as well as anyone I've ever talked to, never quite shared the FML community's aptitude for it. Also, I find it quite odd that you just assumed I've never worked in the service industry or done waitressing with absolutely no basis for that assumption.
angeluv_2014 22
@154 Who here is putting anyone down due to their job description? More like making a point about how, at some point, people should show some dignity and self-respect...
ChristianH39 30
"yeah, I guess groveling for shifty tips and less than minimum wage is the way to live life..." Exactly what part of that sentence DOESN'T put down someone who works as a waiter/waitress? You can't honestly be dumb enough to miss that
smokecloud_ 37
I love good food and good wine. I consider myself a salesperson, because more often than not, I'm selling a "product". I only have to work part time to pay my bills, and own a car and on my way to owning a house. My boyfriend is a BUSBOY at one of the most esteemed restaurants in our city, and brings in nearly twice what I do on a regular basis. A lot of people in food service are in school, and many have degrees but choose to continue waiting tables because it is better money. Yeah it sucks sometimes, the general public can be a pain, but some people have a real passion for it. I'm one. I'll go back to my opening line: I love good food and good wine, and am proud to do what I do. I love my job. (I do feckin hate my boss though>.
angeluv_2014 22
@162 That statement wasn't made to address every single waiter/waitress. It was specific towards OP who couldn't even scrounge up enough dignity to at least say something to the bitch for what she did. He could've at least asked someone else to take the table and said something to her afterwards so he didn't have to literally wait on the person who just degraded the shit out of him.
mangasempai 11
It is quite ironic that we FML people come to a social media app to laugh at other people's demise and have the obvious and emphasized option to point out if someone "deserved it" or "I agree your life sucks," yet everybody loses their mind if someone points out a logical "very probable" possibility for someone to lose it and slap the person. If that was my situation, I would rather shout out "I quit!!" And have the satisfying pleasure to falcon punch the dude and use the food tray to Michael Jordan slam hyper dunk the bitch's head. Would be totally worth it.
doctorhook86 25
#181: Thinking isn't your strong suit, is it? Don't try to answer that, I don't want you to hurt yourself.
Erery 16
Stop being a ******* asshole, take your bitchery somewhere else. It sounds like you've never had to work hard to keep a roof over your head. Congratulations.
ForFudgeSake 6
I don't think you realize how many people live off of minimum wage. it's shitty, but if you have a not-a-sweat-shop job and you're getting good hours, you best keep that job. But if you have savings, already thinking of quitting, or are living with your folks, maybe a good ol' falcon punch is what you should be giving.
supersquirel500 10
let's hope this is just a crual joke. but if not, prep yourself for next time she comes in.
domking1315 20
So many things wrong with this comment...
foxwasalamb 24
if she was always a cold bitch, why be with her?
mamm_fml 14
This was my first thought too
LittleBastard 20
He may have known it but maybe he couldn't let go of her and realise it.
kirito51 5
we have all been there and done that
azyjazy713 11
The sex. The sex was probably awesome.
Edlaro 5
Try to move on. Go out and talk to some girls. You'll feel a lot better afterwards.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Or maybe find some hobbies and grow to be comfortable with himself/enjoy some alone time first before jumping back into a relationship or even going out to meet girls.
RabbitOfAurora 28
"Oh, you're dating my ex? Have you kissed yet? Tell me, how's my dick taste brah?"
GentlemanBastard 15
This.
ThatOneLazyChick 9
Oh my goodness, I love this
rapunzel3416 28
My ex boyfriend did something similar to this. He asked a girl out on a date through Facebook then sent me all the messages.
angeluv_2014 22
Damn!! You are better off.. that is some ****** up shit.
LunaaBluee 27
How can there be people that cruel.. It makes me sad
SpamPam 18
Wow what a sleezebag