Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
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Top comments
thatsjustgreat1 16
Gives a new meaning to "bust a nut".
SecundusSecunda 27
What has been pictured in my mind, cannot be undone. ಠ_ಠ I hope your jewel heals. Tis' but a scratch!
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Comments (73)
jackthekeeper 24
That made me cringe so ******* hard
ChocolateScyther 19
I just hope to god it can be put back together or something
sunsetium 14
It's been 5-10 mins I've read this post and im still feeling pain for the poor guy.
galen_harris 12
I haven't worn underwear for 9 years and this has never happened to me...
deltoren 11
I'm so sick today that I feel nothing
syki 22
I will never complain about underboob sweat again.
lexos 16
This not really a common thing to happen. I didn't even know that this was possible
soullyfe 33
@17: As a person with breasts, I assure you it is possible.
MandieL 27
I think 17 was referring to sitting on a ******** and having it rupture, not the under boob sweat.
lexos 16
@20 I mean sitting on your balls I know that under boob sweat is a thing
thatsjustgreat1 16
Gives a new meaning to "bust a nut".
SecundusSecunda 27
What has been pictured in my mind, cannot be undone. ಠ_ಠ I hope your jewel heals. Tis' but a scratch!
itsalanis 25
Just a flesh wound. :v
powerkeep 24
Something tells me that would have happened anyway. FYL OP :(
onlychildFTW 34
Probably a lot less likely. I wear briefs and never come close to sitting on my own balls.
sydnvy 15
imagine the conversation between him and the doctors; doctor: so how did this happen OP: *looks off into the distance as a single tear falls from eye* it all started with one pair of tighty whiteys.....
tantanpanda 26
OP: It was a cold February morning and beads of water were gently rolling off the morning grass. The spearmint green that filters through the leaves of the trees penetrated deep through the car window as I was driving to work. In my office, as I unknowingly sat down... you can imagine, Doctor, the horror I felt and still feel to this moment.
funneh1 21
I cringed and curled into a ball as soon as I read this....and I'm a girl. I'm sorry OP. Hopefully you'll make a quick and safe recovery.
StarOfDoom 26
Why would you ever go commando in the first place .-.
angiemarie96 25
because it's comfy
tygerarmy 35
I always go commando. I have for years. It's so much more comfortable. Never came close to sitting on my balls, though I discovered more respect for the ladies after going commando in a kilt.
katachristic 19
+1 for doing it right and going full monty in the kilt.
Zebediabolical 45
Other than specific instances, such as an extra layer during winter sports like skiing or snowboarding or snowmobiling, I haven't worn underwear since 2007. Freeballing is amazing.
galen_harris 12
@#30 I've also gone commando for a good nine years now, and I've also never come close to OP's horrific incident.
mthurston 14
Totes
nickie_94 18
I wonder if every guy sits on their balls at least once in their lives
baker0350 15
It's true, we do. Just not normally to the extent of rupturing a ********.
nousername111 8
don't think I ever did because I actually wear underwear
onlychildFTW 34
I never have but I also wear briefs and they keep everything well supported and snug out of the way.
primocell 6
Ive done if maybe 3-4 times
blazingshot147 19
Happens once a week for me. Though it's mostly just pinched skin on the ballsack, as is for most men.
zaidthunder1 27
This sounds worse than Dutch scratching.
Mynamewontfi 40
What does that mean? I'm Dutch and it always surprises me that I, rather frequently, see a phrase like this using Dutch in it.