Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML
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Top comments
JenDanielle917 13
Guys want sex with a girl, not Darth Vader.
TylerOMFG 7
Lol. Isn't it usually the guy getting steamy with it?
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Comments (158)
maiamafia 6
Next time, assuming there is a next time, Op should scream Shut up and gimme the business!
Just_Me_88 8
LOL sounds like he was doing his job right and didn't have a clue, LOL
hateevryone 15
he's so stupid. what other type of sounds do he expect?
Sanch101 7
If you do it right it is a marathon and not a sprint.
musicluvr2000 11
Did you win?
causticgirl 6
Next time scream his name (or really any name would do) at the top of your lungs. He'll wish for the subtle moaning
bubo_fml 11
I had the opposite problem...My over-sexed ex-wife threatened to stick a cattle prod up my jacksee if I didn't "get my ass in gear" during her sex marathons...
Fulgore_fml 1
Maybe he's a virgin......?
Ressamies 6
That guy must like being under...
Andrewgfffff 0
Come on guys, stop giving the guy a hard time. Fair play if that's what she does naturally, but it sounds like the BF thought she was over-exaggerating.
cooLING 0
Sounds like OP wasn't faking it.