Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
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Top comments
YoshiTimex3 0
he might be talking bout his past girlfriends 0:
mdanielle 0
No 5, WOW. That's a really sad view of marriage... When I get married it will be because I love my husband more than my own life. I hope someday you'll did that kind of real happiness, not the cheap pleasure that comes from one night stands.
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Comments (57)
pyroanarchist23 0
wow, lets hope you werent going out for too long lol otherwise your an idiot first?
MrCatman1125 2
How is she an idiot?
JazzHandsFML 28
Every Time ever on fml someone calls someone an idiot but says "your an idiot" you're* as in you're a dumbass
YoshiTimex3 0
he might be talking bout his past girlfriends 0:
lthb33 6
That's what I originally assumed
TriniRockStar 0
well that relationship is over
Superawesomestev 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
marraige is a joke. the only purpose it serves is to get a piece of paper for tax purposes. fail.
cookiemonster17 0
ah-greed
megapeyt 17
Dude, I really wish you could take replies off. That reply is the most insulting thing I have ever read.
amandajlucas2015 2
I disagree marriage is not a joke and some people actually want to get married for the right reasons
Parky03 9
Me and the rest of the world don't think marriage is a joke and it hasn't been for hundreds of years.
MrCatman1125 2
How is it a joke at all? You marry the person you love to show how much you love them and that you want to spend the rest of your life by their side. You get a nice ring, have a beautiful ceremony, the bride gets a nice dress, and a life partner.
burnforeternity 30
No it really isn't. The institution is meant to be a mutual love between a man and a woman. Since you can't see that, I pity you.
TAST3MYRAINB00Wx 0
FYL tell his wife he deserves it ps ~ stop attrqcting married men lolp
Emrysa 1
Well, her name is busted. So I'm assuming she is married too. So YDI HDI. Your partners should hook up and leave both of you.
pyroanarchist23 0
it could be in reference to him being "busted"
blland 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you need to post with your full name and social security number for the internets to repay you.
mdanielle 0
No 5, WOW. That's a really sad view of marriage... When I get married it will be because I love my husband more than my own life. I hope someday you'll did that kind of real happiness, not the cheap pleasure that comes from one night stands.
Zezing 0
thankyou for that amazing story, want to tell it again?
weissesengel 0
i agree! (not to the guy below me. you) ur a wise person n i n v u
KagamineLen_fml 0
aw you marry for love? who does that in this day and age? lol
Macromartyr 3
Lol 10 is right, you other opinions are are living with your genitalia in your head.
IceCream53423 0
does nobody think he mightve been joking?
perdix 31
I don't get why he would roll off her. If he is cheating on his wife, why would he care if she were single or cheating on her husband? Unless, of course, he's afraid of getting his ass kicked by a jealous husband. In that case, he should have calmly finished the deed and never called her again.