Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML
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Top comments
liindsey 25
I agree with the pig comment, but it's also kind of pig-ish to keep someone around till you can find someone better..
ifailplzinsultme 0
Sounds like karma is the only thing that's been screwing you lately.
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Comments (182)
fallen_angel543 5
Karmas a bitch right asshole? You're such a pig
xxxallyxxx 4
Jeez, people, calm down! It's not right to stay in a relationship if you have such different sex drives, it's not fair on either of them. Having a high sex drive does NOT make you a pig, so stop being so harsh!
obsydian_fml 3
Yeah, exactly. It's also not just the men. Iif I were with somebody with a low sex drive I'd be outta there. I can't help it. I'm a woman, would I still be a "pig" in everyone's eyes?
justanotherhuman 21
careful you two... only certain people are allowed to use reason/logic and/or sarcasm on this site without risk of rebuke. You're both walking on thin ice...
jemiller226 13
#100: No, all the 15 year olds would call you "****" instead, and it would be equally stupidly immature and shortsighted.
santasadiekins 0
You dumped her because she didn't screw you enough? YDI
love102310 0
Your a selfish asshole who because you didn't get laid you dumped ur gf Because of the lack of sex your an asshole grow the **** up
NKG7896 3
irony
juliMich 0
No wonder actions like yours are making women like you now days. And yet men complain about woman not having morals and values anymore. SMH
Buzzy123 7
Lack of sex cuz you suck at it.
DeadxManxWalking 27
Condoms can expire ?
Merylwen 24
Of course they do.
captainbj2 0
Lmao! Great response!
Twisted_Angel 17
that really sucks ass, but that's what you get. karma always bites you in the end. nobody ends a relationship over something like that without being a total jackass. and if you did, then hopefully you enjoy a life of celibacy.
Lovesglee 3
Idk how to vote this one, so I did both. ;)