Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
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Top comments
liindsey 25
I agree with the pig comment, but it's also kind of pig-ish to keep someone around till you can find someone better..
ifailplzinsultme 0
Sounds like karma is the only thing that's been screwing you lately.
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Comments (182)
ohmandapants 17
Well, well...isn't karma just the biggest bitch? :-)
leadman1989 16
Don't worry op sometimes the idiots get here first the ACTUALLY PATHETIC thing to do is stay in a loveless/ sexually frustrating relationship for fear of being alone or not "getting any"
jemiller226 13
Thank you!
False_Stupidity 42
Except loveless and sexless are NOT the same thing, at all.. Sexually frustrating? Maybe, but love can exist and in fact thrive without sex, which incidentally I gather the OP was getting 'some' of, just not enough for his appetite.
jemiller226 13
Correct. Loveless and sexless aren't the same thing, but who cares? Why should he be forced to be unhappy?
ohmandapants 17
Well he's obviously unhappy now isn't he.
leadman1989 16
So when you sit down to eat to you eat just enough so you're almost not hungry? If this was a woman everyone would be going woot you go girl, get a real man blah blah blah but because it's a guy expressing his sexuality and desires he's a pig... Right This post is also a prime example of how stupid people are and don't think for themselves how many times does karma show up or pig. It's better he leave now than when things get complicated with money and kids. If it sounds like I'm angry I am I don't see how people can be this freaking DENSE
BellaMarta 19
Why would you get condoms if you weren't getting any?
Mikay617 0
YDI for being an asshole.
skatingalyy 0
why the **** would you dump your girlfriend for not having enough sex with you? YDI.
jemiller226 13
/looks at age Yup, that's what I thought. Come back when you're an adult.
lidsthesquid 4
*slams paw down on table* I think the word you are looking for is 'frick' !
DjeePee 25
That's an ironic situation. I'm not going to say that you are a selfish pig for breaking up with her because of the sex, because we can't judge. Maybe OP wanted every day sex and his girlfriend only once in a month. That's enough reason to end a relationship (if the communication and still-trying-to-make-it-better didn't work). Oh, if you really wanted sex, I'm sure you could find someone. Enough girls in this world who want one-nighstands or FWB. And in case of emergency, there are always prostitutes.
leadman1989 16
You're so damn rational, and that gas mask really brings out your eyes. :3
ThatOneCanadian 0
i agree. if OP is so shocked hes not getting enough sex, he should take a look at what he's looking for in a relationship
tucansam555 3
Wow only a douchebag would dump a girl for that reason... Ydi
slicklol 7
Obviously the people bashing this guy for dumping her are girls, if you are not having sex enough the relationship is not working as intended, reason enough to break up, a healthy sex life is synonymous with a healthy relationship, if he thought they weren't having enough sex then there were problems in other areas of the relation... Stop being haters, FYL m8 :|
lezzy251 0
I'm a very manly lesbian chick. and well. a relation ship shouldn't be based on sex! you can be in love and not have sex! I dated a girl for 2 years and we never had sex. it was working perfectly fine until I had to move away. so ha! sex has nothing to do with it.
Freeze_fml 17
I'm a guy and I don't have a problem bashing OP.
False_Stupidity 42
Not working as intended?.. This would be true if your sole intent in being in the relationship was for the sex, in which case it's doomed to be a short term failure
ash99 0
That's wht you get or being a jerk
antihero420 0
I feel that you need to check yourself. Maybe you weren't getting enough because A. You're the type of dude who does dumb stuff like buy condoms to CELEBRATE a break up. B. You may be some but ugly price of work. C. You may just suck in bed. Girls need guys who understand and appreciate them.