Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML
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Top comments
liindsey 25
I agree with the pig comment, but it's also kind of pig-ish to keep someone around till you can find someone better..
ifailplzinsultme 0
Sounds like karma is the only thing that's been screwing you lately.
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Comments (182)
auddylynne 0
Wow. U really are a pig. U deserved that. Karma is a bitch jerk
lezzy251 0
yes. that's a negative ghost rider. and well for all you know. they could be having sex at least once a week. I mean seriously. a relationhip isn't all about sex.
lezzy251 0
that was suppose to go on a different post.
lezzy251 0
you shouldn't care bout the sex! that's screwed up!!!
zyxwvutsrqponmlk_fml 0
I love how everyone's all saying "You're a pig" when they don't even know about the relationship, I mean sex isn't all there is to a relationship, but it's part of one and for all you know they couldve only had sex like once in the past year, I guaruntee you if the genders were reversed, everyone one be sympathetic.
Kaikohanakami 7
Well karma went and bit Op in the buttcheeks. but i dont think that he shouldve been forced to be in a relationship he simply wasnt happy in and waste the poor girls time in the process as well as his own. Perhaps he didnt like her enough to appreciate that they were having sex at all. i mean come on...cant a guy dump a girl he doesnt like ?geezuz D:< some people are pathetic and need lots of sex in a relationship XD get over it.
cherry72 13
KARMA
buckeye08 10
Karma's a bitch, just like you.
bubblesrox5 3
YDI for breaking up with her for not enough sex. Who the heck does that?
obsydian_fml 3
Of course it's most important to be with somebody because you love them first and foremost, but sex is also important to any healthy relationship. Communicate what you want and need and expect, let your partner do the same. If you can't come to an agreement, you won't be happy, plain and simple. My boyfriend and I have a very similar sex drive and are perfectly happy with everything. It can work but if you aren't happy it's better to break it then lead them on.
pvtgrey6289 4
Way to make every guy look like a horn dog, you douchebag. Two things can come out of this, neither are good for you. 1.) Your ex now thinks every guy only thinks about sex so she either goes lesbian, celibate or has a LOT of sex to get back at you. You have no game, your condoms expire, no sexy time for you. 2.) She goes on with her life, finds the perfect guy for her and has lots of kids from all the sex that YOU missed out on because you broke up with her. You still have no game, your condoms expire, no sexy time for you.
leadman1989 16
How can you say he's a horn dog when you have no IDEA WHAT ENOUGH WAS? Enough could have been once every three months or only on his birthday.
flamerocker 9
Well it's not like he was going to use them anytime soon...