Today, my husband and I cooked our first dinner of the year, some grilled steak. The moment we turned our backs to put out the fire, the dog snatched half of it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML
Today, we went to a nice place by a river to have a BBQ. Someone then asked if we could move the fireplace somewhere else, so we went to check another spot. We came back to find a dog had eaten all the meat we'd brought. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, I made several beautiful steaks on the grill, then set them to rest. While I left to use the bathroom, my four year-old decided they looked yucky and poured syrup on them. My wife was too busy giggling and recording it to stop her. FML
Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML
Today, I cooked a romantic dinner for my partner to celebrate our five year anniversary. I spent hours preparing a snazzy meal. Just as we sat down to eat, I realized I had forgotten to turn off the oven, and our dessert was now a charred lump of coal. We only realised this when the fire alarm in the kitchen went off. FML
Today, I put my perfectly-broiled steak portion in the microwave to keep it from the cats while it rested. I accidentally hit "cook" instead of "timer". My perfect rare steak is now almost perfectly half-leather and half-charcoal. FML
Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML
Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML
Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
yeah, sounds like your dog needs some serious obedience training, if he was just waiting for you to turn your back.
Inkoseh 33
Don't👏Leave👏Food👏Within👏Reach👏Of👏Dogs!👏 It's a ******* steak and you left it wide open. Even if I say "Train your pets to not eat off counters" There's still a small chance they'll do it. You don't deserve it, but... next time be a bit smarter or have your dog away from open food until you're done. :) (Thanks for the downvotes, pet owners! Train your pets not to eat off your plate or counters or expect this exact scenario to happen.)
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
If your food is catching fire, maybe you'd better stick with DoorDash.
Inkoseh 33
Don't👏Leave👏Food👏Within👏Reach👏Of👏Dogs!👏 It's a ******* steak and you left it wide open. Even if I say "Train your pets to not eat off counters" There's still a small chance they'll do it. You don't deserve it, but... next time be a bit smarter or have your dog away from open food until you're done. :) (Thanks for the downvotes, pet owners! Train your pets not to eat off your plate or counters or expect this exact scenario to happen.)
tounces7 28
yeah, sounds like your dog needs some serious obedience training, if he was just waiting for you to turn your back.
DoctorPALO 14
It took both of you to take care of the grill, maybe YDI for not thinking to put the food out of reach of the dog first.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Train your dog, and from now on make sure one of you pays attention to the food. Why did it need two of you to extinguish a BBQ/fire pit, anyway?
malicemassacre 18
What did you guys eat for the other 10 days you didn’t cook???